my life, my memories

2010-09-08T21:24:00.002+08:00

Guys, I guess I'm a bit more active now on tumblr, so I probably won't be posting much over here. Sorry yeah.

Smiles!

2010-08-08T18:20:00.003+08:00

Being a child is really a wonderful thing.

You never know or understand the conflicts in life,

Neither will you know what's love or hate.

Life for you will always revolves round eat, sleep and play.

Even if you ever fall flat in the face,

you will still stand up and smile again.

There are times in life, i wondered

Why is it so hard to be a child again?

Why must adulthood abduct the innocence of a child?

Is that really the price we must pay

In order to be an adult?

Being a child is really a wonderful thing

For you will always be happy and carefree.

2010-07-29T18:42:00.002+08:00

I know, I'm hopeless. Oh great, I can't get myself back now. Hmm hmm, no no, I have to get myself up. I mean, that's the only way to prove that I'm well right? Alright, I shall do that then. Up I'll get. =)

2010-07-27T17:37:00.002+08:00

I get to know the truth today. What a liar. Seriously, you don't deserve me to spend all my time and effort on you, but for the sake of all the things and sufferings that i've been through, I will, spend more time on you. Well, the only reason of spending more time on you is because I want you to pay back, I want you to go through what I've been through. No worries, I'll make it short and sweet for you, but it's gonna be a fatal one. I promise, that's my word to you.

2010-07-24T19:03:00.002+08:00

Gosh, it's been three weeks already and I am still harping on it. Seriously, I don't know what to do. I can't go forward, and neither can I go back to the past. I may look alright to you, but don't you know that I'm just pretending? The excruciating pain is unbearable, especially when ... ...

I came upon this phrase ytd night. " You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to things you don't want to feel. " This is how I am feeling now. Can you feel the pain?

2010-07-02T22:50:00.002+08:00

What you fear the most is the fear itself.

2010-07-01T23:28:00.004+08:00

The Darkness

by Christinia

If only it were so simple,

to cruise through life smelling roses;
but the obstacles blacken the countryside,
and we unwittingly crush them beneath our boots.

Dreams sustain us through the madness;
goals give a finish line to our race.
Yet they change with every turn, around every wall,
and remain elusive throughout the quest.

Mistakes are made, and regrets are our luggage;
we will drag them with us to slow us down.
The victories are flashes of light, sudden and unlasting, which allow us
to glimpse the road ahead before darkness descends.

Love is bitter, yet it is the bread that keeps us.
Over and over it fills us up, only to starve us.
The people whom we love shape our destinies and our strengths,
yet leave us cold and alone in the darkness.

There are others trying to race to the end;
occasionally, we bump into one or two.
The bonds we form help us down the path less lonely
but eventually, we lose each other in the darkness.

Alone is not a bad way to be;
it clears your head and focuses you on the journey.
Cherish the short intervals during the quest you have with others,
but be prepared to walk alone in the darkness.

2010-06-18T00:42:00.000+08:00

昨晚，我做了场噩梦，梦里有我不想见到的人。等等，不能说是不想见到，而是没想过会在梦里见到。想想，已经过了这么多年，这也是我第一次梦到他。

梦里的我装作若无其事，对他不理不睬。

我记得我唯一对他说的是： “你疯了吗？!".

当我醒来时，我感到非常庆幸，因为我知道这，永远都会只是一场梦，永远都会是场噩梦。

有些时候，我宁愿一辈子都当一只鸵鸟，也不要去面对一些事。

而有些人，我宁愿一辈子都不要再遇到;

因为那才真的是噩梦。

2010-05-27T22:27:00.003+08:00

Don't you find it funny? Sometimes, people want to go back to the past and remain in that period of time while sometimes, others want to go into the future and look at how things will change or remain after their times.. Honestly, I really want to go into the future and see how things are plan for me. Sometimes, when you get a glimpse of how your future is like, you tend to change the way you do things or the decision you made just to fit into the so call "future".

I feel that way too. There are times in my life when I really don't know what to do and I really wish that I can plunge myself into the future to see how it's like if i were to continue my path the way i did before.. However, when one realizes that the present of the future isn't as bad as what one thought to be, one regrets for not going on with what one thought before in the past. Do you get what I'm trying to say? Never mind, as long as I understand then it's okay. I'm just trying to write out what I feel anyway, so it's okay if you don't understand.

Maybe it's because of the uncertainties in life that keeps people motivated. Maybe to them, it's a kind of motivation, but to me, it's not. I don't dare to take the risks that the uncertainties possess and I don't have the courage to face the uncertainties in life. That's the reason why I'm in agony now... i don't know how long will i take to relieve myself from this agony, but all i know is that, it's not gonna come to an end soon.

Alright, let's get back to the topic. Uncertainties. It's the power of the uncertainties in life that makes one stronger, but it's also the power that make one weaker. Many people would say that it's how one looks at the problem. If one chooses to accept it and learn to work through it, they become stronger. However, if one choose to run away from it and only know how to work around it, then they become weaker. Maybe they're right, then which category do I fall in? I, fall in the weak category.

2010-05-17T23:04:00.002+08:00

Many things are going through my head now. Something that has been bothering for some time. I don't expect you guys to understand how i feel, but somehow, i really need someone to experience the feelings that i'm experiencing now.

2010-05-03T00:14:00.000+08:00

It's coming back again. Guess what? I can't control it. It's hard. I don't wanna to have a u-turn now, please, not now.

2010-05-02T13:43:00.007+08:00

2010-05-02T13:15:00.003+08:00

Hi hi!! I know i've been MIA for quite a long time. It can't be helped duh, with so many things on. =.=. I didn't really intend to blog today de, but there's a sudden urge of me to blog about student council.

Last Tuesday was the official stepping down ceremony for my batch. I didn't really have mixed emotions back then, but now, i feel that the mixed emotions are too overwhelming for me already. For the past four years, I'm proud to say that I did not let my teachers- Mr. Michael See, Mdm Halimah & Ms. Quek down. I'm also proud to say that I've put in my 100% efforts in student council, even though there were times that I really felt like giving up.

I still remembered that there was a time when i was so devastated that I've totally lost myself. But luckily, i have my friends and Mr.Kenneth Tan beside me, pushing me on, motivating me to look forward in life. And I really wanna say thanks to all of you, cos without you guys, I think i might really give up in life. Whenever i put on my sc badge, there's proudness and sadness within me. I'm not going to explain why anymore, cause it's all in the past. Right now, when i no longer have the chance to put it on anymore, there's just purely sadness in me already. Maybe it's because of the reluctantness of putting down my badge i think.

I think i've said more than what i wanted to say already, guess it's time to stop already. Wait, just let me add one more thing. I'll always remember this quote by our seniors, " Light a path, Dare to shine". =D

2010-03-19T12:44:00.003+08:00

The whole bunch of us.. =P

Taking pic also must fight? (refer to jes and joanne)

Jes's twist is just nice on joanne's head. =)

2010-03-19T12:10:00.002+08:00

Meiyi & me. Do you know she had three rounds of ice-cream? =)

Mai looks shocked..!

A decent pic with her. =D

2010-03-19T11:58:00.002+08:00

Okays, it's been like 3 weeks since i last blog i think. Actually, i wanted to wait for another week before i start to blog. haha. =D Went for SC dinner last night. Duh, there were only 19 ppl there, including me. Lols, i thought there's gonna be like 20+++. Hahaha, nvm, anw it was quite fun luh. Met terence korr in serangoon mrt station when i was waiting for vernon. He look so tan lor, still say i'm darker than him. Lols, he won't read my blog anw, so nvm, can say him. He's grown taller and his shoulders are broader.

You know, when he saw me he was like mouth open big big lor. Haha, i know why luh. When i was in sec 1/2, he kept pestering me to wear dress. Then i don't want. Then for the first time after two years, he saw me in dress. Haha, stupid la.. He said that he'll ask me out for lunch or dinner soon cos his project mates are staying nearby. Haha, can meet up again liao. =D

Jes was very funny lor, she sms-ed me and told me to bring plaster cos her shoe was "biting" her. Lols. Vernon even went to carefour to buy her a box of plaster. Haha, when both of us exchanged our shoe (cause her feet was very pain), vernon was like, don't wear la, your leg is bigger than jes. Lols, is her leg small lor, so old liao leg so small. Haha.

Sian la, sch's gonna reopen soon le, and guess what? I just started on my hw not long ago. I don't feel like doing leh. Argghh.. There's a lot of english lor. Don't start to do also cannot. If I tmrw then do, my mom's gonna kill me le. Haix, suddenly, i've got this feeling that I've finished o lvls. Haha, i know there's still a long way to go luh. But nvm, i shall perservere. Cos I learnt a new phrase today. Hehe, au revoir.

When the going gets tough and when everything seems to go downhill, just remind yourself the only way from now would be up.

2010-02-27T18:50:00.000+08:00

2010-02-27T18:37:00.002+08:00

Body ache. Back ache. Leg pain. The consequences of not doing stretching. Haha, some part of it is true la. Yesterday went for school's jogathon, is a whole sch event. Cause, jeslyn and I wanted to get the level champion for E1 ma, so we decided to run. Haha, then i told jeslyn " eh, later rmb to pace me hor. " She said " Okay. np" Lol, but guess what, when we started running, she was like chiong-ing already lor. Hard time catching up so gave up. Ran at my own pace then.

I kept running then when i turned, i i saw si hwee behind me. Keeping up to me. FAST. Lol, then i started to chiong too lor. But in the end failed cos too tired le. 3.5 km leh.. Ran non-stop. Haha, then when approaching the end, Mr Kenneth Tan was there ma. Then he ran with me. Very funny lor he, he keep on saying " 要到了，很快就到了，转个弯就到了" I heard the " 转个弯就到了", so i chiong lor. Who knows it's still quite far away lor, by the time i really reaching the end i no strength to chiong lo. Then suddenly he very anxious and said " 快点，快点，jingyi 在你后面，快点跑" lol, he sounded like as if someone's after my blood lor. Hehe, but not too bad la, I was the eighth among the 100 plus to 200 students. Hehe, Vernon and I got the same position lor. =D And guess what? Jeslyn was the first. Lol ,no wonder I can't find her.

After ytd's jogathon, i learnt new things. When i was really gonna give up, there would always be someone who would tell me not to. I thought that I wouldn't make it to the top ten, but i did it. Haha, sometimes, when you don't believe something but you strive on, that something that you don't believe will eventually come true. Maybe that's how I shld apply it to my life and studies. Have faith in myself. =D

Alrights, got to go now. Gotta shower and start on my hw le. Au revoir. =D

2010-02-25T22:03:00.003+08:00

haha guess what?! Today's the last day of my common test! Haha, so happy lor. You shld have see how i look like at home for the past few days, looked like ghost lor. Everyday reached home like 6 plus, then still must chiong hw and do revision. I didn't even sleep well for the past few nights lor. Kept jumping up in the middle of the night.

I was thinking about something just now and i think i sort of regret it. I mean, i should have followed my "instincts", but... haix, i think it's too late now.. Anw, it's gonna be over soon right..? It'll be like a blink and, bye bye le. I wish (or hope?) so ba.

Haix, very tired le la.. i want to sleep le. Tmrw still got jogathon lor. haha, aim to get the class champion thing for 4E1 haha. =D Try la. Nights, au revoir. =)

2010-02-07T18:20:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling so terrible now.. My voice is gone.. It's weird lor. Wed and Thur got fever, but my voice is still the same. Then fri went back to sch, vernon got no voice. Then on sat!!! My voice was gone!!! Argh... So stupid leh. Haha, then i sms vernon.

D: eh ver, you got voice anot?

V: no eh, still the same. Why? You la, spread the virus. Lol Scared i'll screw up on the emcee part ah? Don't worry la.

D: =.=? i've got no voice too.

V: Haha, the most is we use this voice to be the emcee lor.

Lol, tmrw i still need to say the pledge leh. Haha, nvm, I still got backup, joanne! Haha, i think she's gonna take over me for tmrw's pledge taking. haha. =D Haix.. so sian, i lose weight leh. Argh.. i don't want to be so thin.. cannot, must eat more.. haha, i know, i'm abit out of mind le. but i don't want to be so thin.

Okay, just had medicine, got to sleep now. so drowsy. haha. seeya. au revoir.

2010-02-01T22:14:00.003+08:00

Yeah i'm back, but i don't have the mood to blog leh. I mean, i know why la, but it's hard to say here. I'm confused too. I have to get it all sorted. I feel like i'm being controlled by .... Argh! I think korr you are right lor. There's one thing that you told me before and i told you that it won't be true but now... I think it might be true le. Jeesh, i can't believe it.

2010-01-22T21:22:00.002+08:00

Come to think of it,if i'm gonna quit, 我会很不甘心的. Just finished watching the youtube video on 在那遥远的地方 and I really want to continue to learn.. .. but just as i started to show improvement... ...

2010-01-22T20:47:00.003+08:00

It's been so long since i last posted smth, so i shall do it today. Actually, it's because i'm TOTALLY upset so i wanna post smth. Okay, let's start with smth happy first.

On Wed, Mr Lim taught me how to conduct the whole orchestra. Haha, super happy lor. First time learn conducting (and i think i did not bad) and everyone was staring at me lor.Haha, but it was really really fun. I really love the feeling of conducting the whole orchestra. =D Well, at least, i still managed to learn something (smth that i want to learn) in orchestra. =D

Okay, the totally unhappy thing. Hmm, i don't know how to say, but it's really upsetting me k? I cried during shower and in my room lor. Hmmm.. hmm.. i really don't know how to say, this thing affects my mood totally. This stupid thing made me broke my promise.. Not a promise to others, but to me. Forget it, i'll say it in another way. Forget it, i think i don't want to say anymore. There's no point in saying it.

2010-01-03T14:51:00.002+08:00

Great, school's gonna reopen tomorrow, and guess what? I feel like sleeping in tmrw. =.= All the hw are almost done, left amaths and scrap book's cover page. Well, amaths I am quite confident of doing all the ques la, so slowly do.

Gosh, I'm so bored now. I'm sleepy too. I slept at 2 am you know? Of course doing those useless things. Darunee Phutthatsaneewong! Perk up! I'm so sian you know? When i need to go back to sch le. Yeah it's the same old thing again, I don't want to face the reality that I'm sec 4 now, and I'm gonna chiong for my o lvls. aiyayayayaya...

Hey, I just realised that I've been posting those discouraging things in my blog eh, well okay i shall post some encouraging one then. I did three papers for amath and I think my amath improved. Not by a mark or 2 k, but like about 10 to 15? Haha, okay at least I did put in hrad work lor. And you know what? When I was doing amaths, I was thinking " If I had known that sec 3 work was that easy, I would definitely put in my 100% in it de. " Well, now I'm sec 4, I guess the work are much more harder than sec 3 (I'm stating the obvious thingy eh). I'm not saying that I'm not going to put in hard work but just the thought of it makes me shiver.

Wonder how's my chem is now.. I didn't even revise my mole calculations and stuffs you know, I was like, my whole mind thinking of amaths.

But at least I did not waste my time on it la. I still managed to solve like 3/4 of all the questions? That's considered a lot okay? For someone so dumb like me. Haha, yeah dumb. Alrights, I can't take it anymore. I want to take a nap now, if not I can't continue with my amaths de. Au revoir!

2010-01-02T15:47:00.002+08:00

Okay, this feeling came back to me again. I'm not sure why I have this kind of feelings too. It's just can't be describe by words. Just that uncomfortable feeling. There's an urge of leaving Singapore and not come back anymore. Just wanna leave this place and go to some place whereby no one knows me. I'm mad right? I don't even know what I'm talking about now.

2010-01-01T23:42:00.002+08:00

Hey yeah! Today's a new year yeah?! Well, I'm not exactly REALLY happy about it la, cos this year's gonna be a tough year for me. It's a new year so there shld be a new beginning right? Haha, everything seems to be moving so fast around me, just like a blink and everything that I've been through is gone.

There's this saying some where ( I don't really rmb the whole thing but just the main content): When a journey marks its end, it means that a new one has begin. Somewhere along that line. You know, there's some part of me not wanting to face the new journey. I don't have the guts to. Maybe that's why my mom has been calling me an ostrich for years. I've never dare to face my fears before. If I face one, I would rather choose to avoid it instead of thinking of a way to face it. I guess that's how I'm suppose to be eh?

Went out to get my bag today. Been to places like Bugis, Pasir ris and Peninsula( is that how you spell it?) before i found it. Haha, jes bought one too, haha, under the influence of me of course ^^ We've been walking around for hours before having "tea" at breadtalk. Yeah, the bread that talks. Lol. We sat there for half an hour lor, looking at our bags. The male staff was looking at us siia. Haha, of course we bought smth to eat, I'm like hungry already! =.=

Okay, it makes no sense for me to jump from my outing to my thoughts on other things. Sometimes, I just wished that everything's just a dream ya, hoping that when I wake up, I will be able to start everything anew. Including the journey I've been walking for 15 years, including my life, my family and everything. But I know it's impossible. I'm worried too, not sure of what I'm worrying about. Well, someone told me that I shld learn to relax cause I'm worrying too much. And another person told me this (and it stays in my mind for nights) It's okay to fall or fail, it's no big deal, it's not the end of the world. It's true, but I just can't continue when i fail.

It's getting late and i'm going for morning exercise tmrw so au revoir!

2009-12-30T20:40:00.002+08:00

Hello I'm back! Chiong-ing my holiday hw now, lol, not eactly chiong-ing la. Left one compre and paper one only. Haha, actually I just want to on com and listen to music while doing hw de lor, then ended up surfing the net and do useless things.

Today was suppose to go out with korr to watch "Advatar" de, but then he ytd then came back and got high fever, so got to cancel. Haix, so sian lor today, stay at home .. Then korr was funny lor, he said he bought two sets of earrings for me and he said he'll keep it for me first since he can't make it today. LOL! if not you keep then who keep siia.. Haha..(:

Going to buy sch bag and stuffs tmrw! Haha, finally. So tonight, I must make sure I finish up my expository and letter writing, all else no time le. Sch's gonna reopen in 5 days' time, sian. Well, he's not my form teacher now, so... I guess my life for next year isn't gonna be an easy one eh. Haix.. But I made a promise to myself that next year I'm not gonna cry and gotta smile everyday. Wonder if I can keep my promise a not?! I mean, if i see my friends cry, i'll cry too, so...

You know, it's hard to continue, but it's even harder to bring myself to quit. I've come this far, spent a year's effort and work and right now I'm telling myself that I want to quit? Isn't that too dumb of me? But I'm stucked in the middle you know? I'm so scared right now, scared that i'm gonna fail again. Not just in results, but in life too. I mean, when you study till one point of time, i bet there's definitely a time when you'll ask yourself what's the point in doing this? Why am I doing all these?

Haix, forget it, I'm suppose to do my hw now, and not talking about useless things. And I'm suppose to be happy everyday like nobody's business! So, just quit thinking about the negative things Darunee~!

2009-12-29T16:19:00.003+08:00

On christmas eve, I was suppose to be happy cause' I was going to have buffet for dinner. On christmas eve, I was suppose to happy cause' my family and i went to esplanade to enjoy the performance performed by strangers. However, just because of one sentence, my mood was spoiled. Guess what would that sentence be? What sentence would have such great impact on me? It was " 你是林家，我们是钟家，所以你不可以说我。"

这句话对我来说是一句很严重的话。我原以为说这句话的人会是另外个人，但是没想到。。其实，说这句话的人是我七岁的堂弟。从小到大，我都很爱他，很疼他。有什么好吃或好玩的，我第一个就想到他。可是，他竟然对我说出这种话。

Well, I guess I can't totally blame him for it. I mean, given an age like this, i don't think he knows how to come out with anything like this. Yes, i think that someone has said something like this before to him that's why.. yeah. Well, forget it then. My house's full of "baddies". As I grow older, it seems like there's no one i can really trust except for my mom of course. I mean, she wouldn't want me out of the hse, not like ------.

Why is it that as we grow older, when we understand more things, we don't see the world as we used to? Like when we were young, we don't even know anything other than eat, sleep and poo. Haha, yeah. But as we grow older, matured, we tend to get sick of this world. Well, okay, maybe not we, is I. Maybe you guys don't think the same way i do. Haix, i can't imagine how's thing's gonna like when my grandma's not ard anymore. I just want to grow up faster...

Au revoir.

2009-12-21T19:42:00.002+08:00

Finally! I'm done with my chemistry hw. So many online stuffs. Now left with english and amaths. Oh great, Amaths, the whole revision exercise I don't know how to do lor. English also quite ma fan, need to do scrap book and write expository. Still must research if not not enough info to write.

Tmrw got orchestra lehh.. But nvm la, is Mr Ngoh teaching. I wed need to miss orchestra again, need to go do deed poll. Must lawyer there. So ma fan lor. Sian la. Sch's gonna reopen again leh, so scared siia, o lvl results and the stress that I'm going to undergo again. Haix, why must students study? Can't we just do what we like? Haix.. Haha, xuan kai just now asked me join SYCO (Singapore Youth Chinese Orchestra) Haha, told him don't think joining. The ppl there all like so pro, i'm like nothing siia. Scared later go there diu lian ah. Then he asked me try, haha, see first la. See after o lvls ba.

Got to go for dinner now. Got to do english scrap book laterrrrr.. Haha au revoir! (:

2009-12-19T20:46:00.001+08:00

Hey ya, back again. Haha, just had dinner, had western food, mom cooked it eh. So delicious siia.. Hope i can be as good as her leh. Just now talked to korr on msn. Haha, he so silly lor, say wanna buy gift for me. Haha, so i just said anything like earnings lor. =D

Before i went off, i said thanks to him. Well ,the "thanks" wasn't refering to the gift that he's gonna get for me, it's just for... I don't know, I don't know how to put it into words. Just sort of like thank him for like listening my sorrows and be there for me? Something like that I guess. And he was like " huh?" Haha, then he asked if i'm sad again or like smth happen or smth. Haha, he like so know me lor, but serious la korr, nothing happen and i'm not feeling upset. Not like you, everyday sad sad sad. Haha. Just thank you only.

Alright, got to go now, have tuition tmrw and I've not even started on my tuition hw siia. Haha, got to chiong now! =D Au revoir.

2009-12-19T18:09:00.002+08:00

Haix, just reached home from Vivo. Morning went to Bollywood, a farm la, got plants de. Quite okay la. The food there also quite nice, but woke up very early today so no mood to eat. =[ Reached home le then on tv then saw my favourite show, 绝对男友。Seriously it's nice lo, got time go youtube watch. It's a japanese show. The male lead so shuai, but in the end die. Well, not exatly die la, he robot ma, so like "die" la, hardware spoilt or smth. He loves the girl so much lor, treat the girl so good and everything.

Can't wait for the special editiong on christmas! How i wish my future boyfriend will be like him siia. As in like no temper, and always smile. Haha, daydreaming again. Now must concentrate on O lvls le, don't think so much.

I haven't start my hw siia, not haven't start yet, is like do halfway for amaths, halfway for chem and halfway for eng. Then it's like everything's not done yet, so fan lor. Lazy to do also. Sch gonna reopen liao leh, next year confirm no rest de lor. Confirm every holiday go back sch to study. Oh ya, still got o lvls chinese result hor. Wa, got a very bad feeling leh, don't think i can get A siia, no A means no higher chinese leh. No higher chinese then must take chinese in JC leh. Walao, hope i can get A lor. Don't hope for A1 already, A2 is good enough le, as long as is distinction can le.

Haix, wanna go play my electronic keyboard now, wanna practice on the song. =D Au revoir.

P.S. Hope I can get A2 for o lvl chinese.

2009-12-14T15:23:00.002+08:00

I'm back! Anybody miss me?! Haha, so glad that I'm back le.. Miss my bed, miss my electronic keyboard, miss home foods. Haha. =D Don't ask me about the trip.. Will tell you guys when sch reopen. Got many things to say. Some creepy thingy too. Haha.

Oh, sian.. Tmrw have orchestra, so sian.. Must go practice again. Haven't even finish my sch hw siia. Don't even know when will I start doing. Tmrw got aries outing de leh.. Some part of me feel like going but cannot eh, have cca. Nvm.. ww said got second outing..

Wahh.. sian leh. Nothing to do at home siia. I need someone to do hw with me. I'm like so lost.. Lol. Still got amath project haven't do siia. Don't know when the rest wanna do, so just wait ba. Aiya, korr nv online then no one talk to me. Then my cousin's like " Jiejie, play with me, pay lego with me. " Lol. I don't know how to play lego lor.

Aiya, don't want to say le. Nothing much anw. Au revoir. =]

2009-12-07T21:58:00.002+08:00

woa....! Just came back from a swim.. Haha, the water super super cold lor. I was freezing there and my aunt said keep swimming. Haha, stupid la, like kana cold le leh. Now very hungry and sleepy siia, i know la, pig la. But I'm always like this mah, eat then sleep. Haha, just now swim too much le, so now very hungry. Gosh, I haven't even packed my luggage siia.. Haha, guess i'll just stop here bah, later mom will be like " your luggage not yet packed and here you are using the com!' Blah blah blah, alrights, au revoir! =D

2009-12-06T23:29:00.003+08:00

Hello! Today my mood's like superb good lor, haha. Cause' in the afternoon went shopping with mom then bought many many clothes and belts. Haha, because of the cruise so mom say go buy new clothes. Hehe.. =D Then got new pillow.. haha. =D Spent about $100++ today? Haha, but all my clothes are not ex de, then all add up to .. yeah.

Then, just now talk to korr. Haha, we were discussing about our bdays and I was like "Presents!" Haha. Cause' our bday falls on the same month ma, both of us suggested to celebrate together. Haha, at the time lor, then both us said great minds think alike. Haha. Smth like that la. Then he no reason go say, if i got boyfriend then must bring him to let him see. Lol! Next year O lvl liao leh, no time le. Must study. Haha..

Actually, come to think about it, I enjoy talking to my brother. Although we are like at 2 different places, there's always smth that seems to connect us together. Haha, guess that's why he call me mei and i call him korr? I just always feel happy when chatting with him. Hehe, can tell him eveything de and the next thing he'll say is " don't think about it le, go sleep cos tmrw's gonna be a happy day. " Haha..

He now in HK ma, then he said when i go for cruise must go look for shuai ge and get their msn. Lol, and ask me to intro mei nu for him.. Haha.. then he say "HK got a lot of pretty girls leh, some even turn ard to see me. " Lol, so disgusting.. don't even if they're really looking at him a not lor. =) Now he offline le, then like so bored. No one to argue with me about presents, about him being the most handsome guy and studies and stuffs. Haha, so quiet now..

I'm very nervous about the cruise thingy now. 3 more days to it, can you imagine?! Then the four seasons restaurant need what dress code thingy and no tee-shirts are allowed. Great, where in the earth can I find some formal clothes to go for my meals? And no open foorwear is allowed too. Argh! I don't even know what clothes to bring for the cruise lor. Don't even know what to wear on that day. I don't have jeans eh, only got black long pants. It's sort of like jeans but my facilitator said jeans. Haix.. shld have bought one today.

Alrights, I got to go now. Don't feel like typing cos eyes pain le, use com for 3 hours le. Nights! =D Au revoir.

2009-12-03T19:31:00.002+08:00

6 more days to the cruise!! Oh my god! I'm like so nervous & excited about it lor.. Gosh, i wonder who's gonna be my roommate and who's gonna be like my partner for the four days lor... Haha.. I sound a bit insane. I wonder what will happen on the Captain's Night eh.. Wonder how everyone will look like in formal clothes i suppose.

Mom said she's gonna buy new dress for me but not sure if she's gonna do it anot. I mean, she seems to have forgotten that I'll be bringing my dress for the Captain's Night so, I guess if I don't have a new one then I'll probably make use of the old one. How I wish there's someone whom I know in my grp. You know, it's kinda awkard to be in a group of STRANGERS. It's my first time too, to be in a grp of strangers. Haha, but no worries no worries, I'm sure I'll be able to blend in I think. =] Just be myself! =D

Haix, korr went for his dinner again and no one here to chat. Hehe, but nvm, he said he'll come back at about 8 plus.. =D

Alright, got to go now.. So tired of typing. =]

2009-12-03T12:16:00.003+08:00

阴天。今天，我的心情很不愉快。哥昨晚临睡前叫我不要去想太多，因为明天会是个更好的一天。但是，我早上却被一个ＳＭＳ搞得我现在的心情很不好。我现在真的好想和我哥去看电影，什么都不要想，但是他人现在在香港，怎么看啊。。

其实，回头想想，我自己也有不对的地方。也许就是因为自己把事情给复杂化了，所以才会落到今日的下场。可是，再回头想想，这也不是完全我的错啊。要不是因为。。。嗨，还是算了吧。早知道好过以后才知道。现在知道总比以后才知道来的好。要不是昨晚我哥在MSN上和我聊天，我猜想我昨晚睡觉的心情也有可能会被那可恶的家伙给搞砸了。哥啊，你快点回来吧，我现在好想去逛街看电影，好像把不愉快的事给忘得一干二净。好啦，我不想说了，现在的我好想去弹琴，把不愉快的心情给弹出来。。

P.S. 谢谢你洪慧颖。哦还有，哥，我也要谢谢你昨晚不问我发生了什么事。 =] 回头见吧！ =D

2009-12-02T23:33:00.002+08:00

Thanks a lot, Jerk!

Video on never give up

2009-11-30T20:47:00.002+08:00

Went to the nomads blog just now. I looked at all the pictures again and all my camp memories and feelings came back to me. Especially the longest 69 minutes of my life. I remembered how I hang on, how I struggled and most importantly, how i had the determination to move to the end.

It was also then when I saw a video, a video on how we can shine. I saw how a deaf girl tried to learn violin and the obstacles that she faced. It was then that I realised that I had lost something very important in life. Something that I shouldn't have lost. And I lost it due to a setback that I had faced. I don't think I'll ever get it back again but I hope that those who are reading my blog, pls remember not to give up cos when you give up, you are gonna lose something that's you treasured in life.

Briefing at Press Holdings

2009-11-30T18:36:00.002+08:00

Great, I just came back from the briefing and I know my group le. All 4 of us are being split up, merry christmas isn't it? Haix, I'm in Aries haha, same as my horoscope. =] My group got about 15 to 20 ppl ba, quite a number from the good sch. Got one from VS and another from Raffles Girls. Haha, quite exciting about it lor. Then got the Captain's Night and it's like we got to dress up lor. Haha, but no worries! I came well-prepared. I just have to wear the dress that I got for Mr. Tan's wedding can le. Smart right? =D

Gave us our itinery and the pack list. It's like a lot lor. Seriously, I don't know what to bring there siia, I mean the clothings la. I don't have much event clothes and it's like duh! Stupid. And guess what? We are suppose to bring out swim wear there. Oh great, wish me merry christmas ba. Vernon that time asked me go swim I already said no liao, this time, ask me to wear my swim wear in front of 170 ppl? Siia la, how eh... I was wondering like, can I wear some casual clothes then go into the pool ah?

My group is seriously quiet lor, not suitable for someone like me de. Well, not exactly all are quiet but most except for one. One guy, don't really remember his name eh. He's like so "hyper" as in, he volunteered himself out to be the leader and stuffs. That's not a bad thing anyway, and he's rather funny. Haha. Anyone seeing me off on 9/12? Hahaha, just joking. I'm old enough to go on my own.

Oh gosh, I can't stop thinking about the cruise thingy. I can't wait to know my bunk and who am I sleeping with. Eh, wait that sounds wrong. I mean, who will be my bunk mate, and not literally sleeping with okay. Don't think so much. =] Alrights, got to go now. It's my tv time! =] Haha. Au revoir!

Once in a lifetime

2009-11-29T14:13:00.000+08:00

Hello! I went to witness Mr. Tan's wedding yesterday. =] I can't believe it lor, every single one in our class dressed up like.. wow! Hahaha, for the first time in my life, I saw Sharon wearing a dress. Seriously, it's a dress not skirt. Haha, she looked great in it too. Aiya, in all, everyone looked great. =]

At the old parliament house, we saw Mr. Tan and he looked very nervous lor. But it's a normal thing la, to be nervous, for it's a once in a lifetime. =] Then saw his wife, they looked so compaitable eh. Hehe.. And guess what? Mr. Tan's mystery item was actually a dance. Haha, he looked so cute lor.. After the ceremony, jes, me, vernon and some more ppl la went to send meiyi to clark quay mrt.

We then took off to Novena Square to celebrate Annabelle's bday! Haha, she was taken aback when wiky and vernon showed up with a cake after our lunch. =] Then, the most tiring thing happened. We went to orchard and shop. Well, that's not exactly the tiring thing. The tiring thing was that we walked all the way from ION Orchard to Dhoby Ghaut Mrt station eh. Although tiring, it was a memorable one i suppose. Cause' it the first time that I've walked so far in s'pore i suppose.

Jes went back to Indo le, korr going to HK tmrw and what about me? Going for briefing tmrw for the chinese culture cruise thingy. Jes go back for about a month, korr go HK also go one month. The cruise thingy, i'm like so scared lor, 147 students going le. Not like 14 or 17 ppl going. Then still need to split grp.. Haix, sian, later very lonely de.. =[ Why can't it be a fun trip rather than to be chinese culture trip... =[

Right till now, I haven't even start my hw eh and it's a lot lor. What's holiday when there's work to do? Why can't it be just simply a holiday? I'm too lazy to start work lor. Chem still need to use com to do, Amaths still got project, Eng still got scrap book. Ahhhhhhh! It's a lot lor. Haix... I'm too lazy to start work.. Someone pls push me.. Or be with me when I start? Haix... Au revoir.

2009-11-25T22:57:00.000+08:00

Ahhhh! Finally, I'm done with my blog! Stupid leh, I spent like 3 hours editing it. All thanks to Alena for helping me. =] I owe you a drink eh. =] Right now, I'm exhausted lor, eye pain and ear pain. Haha, talk too long on the phone liao. Right, I think I should probably end here now. Too tired to continue le. See ya! Au revoir..! =]

2009-11-20T13:39:00.000+08:00

Okay, I'm gonna update my blog now. I know that it's been a long time but i'm just too lazy to type eh.

Well, many things happened for the past three months and yeah. Yesterday, I went for the SC outing and i totally enjoyed myself throughout the whole program. Water bombs, whacko and bbq! Stupid Hong Yu and Ming keep saboing me, then my shoe kept getting stuck in the mud. Stupid shoe. The bbq food was delicious man (cos I helped to bbq ma). I ate a total of 4 chicken wings, 2 stickes of hotdogs, 3 fishballs and about half plate of beehoon. Hehe, pig...

Oh ya, btw, I am being promote to sec 4 Express le. You know when i was in P6, I kept thinking that I won't go pass sec 2, but I did. Then in sec 3, perhaps it's because of the subject combination, I thought that i might retain or smth but who knows, I was promoted to sec 4. =]

Right now, what I'm afraid of is my chinese O levels results. I dare not say that I'll get an A but I don't think I'll do that badly to get a B. It's like in the middle and I myself don't even know if next year, I'll be able to continue with my higher chinese. Miss Lee said that w/o an A, I can dream about taking higher chinese anymore. I think it's a waste you know, cos I've been studying HCL for 3 years, and just at the end of the fourth year, I have to give it up. It's like I'm wasting my time all these while.

On to the next topic, I've just got a bad news about smth. I can't say what is it, but those who know me well enough should be able to guess. Smth about someone in my life. Someone who's in my life, but not in my life.

Anyway, time to go off. Mom's at home and I can't use too long. Au revoir. =]

2009-08-17T15:30:00.000+08:00

Okay, that blog was a bit lame. Recently, I've been quite emo. Especially last Friday. I cried four times in school. Well, not exactly in school. First time was in the morning at lrt. Jeslyn didn't know. After we alighted, she realised that my eyes were swollen and asked me. Then I cried again. Stupid.

I told her what happened during the later day andguess what? She cried with me. Lol, and i thought I made her cry. She told me that it's not my fault that she cried. After that, Mr Tan bought ice-cream for the whole class and give each and everyone of us an individual note. He wrote all the 42 notes himself and his fingers were swollen after writing.

I know that I'll cry if I read the note so I stopped myself. However, I want to know what he wrote for me so I continued reading. And the next thing i know, I was using tissue to wipe my face. What he wrote for me is not true. To me. I think that I don't deserve his.. okay, kind of compliment.. Then Vernon came to comfort me and help me with my ice cream.

I think, for the past few weeks, many things had been going on my mind and I don't know what's happening to me too. Maybe I was too stress up with Inter-class games, my studies and my family problems. One more week to the ending of Interclass games. I have been quarelling with my mom about all the staying backs in sch. Haix, I feel as if the world is ending and tearing a part. Au revoir.

We are the same! =]

2009-08-17T15:26:00.000+08:00

Can you spot something "interesting"?

Take a look at one of our clique's blog and you will find the answer.

Remember to leave a tag at out tagbox. =]

2009-08-07T23:18:00.000+08:00

Today, I had a memorable day and i don't think I'll ever forget today. For the first time, the six of us went out together. Me, Mei Yi, Joanne, Li jun, Ying Zhuang and Jeslyn, going out together. We went to ehub for lunch and bowling. Lol, we were sort of like blank when we went for bowling then i was the first one to play lor. Haha, it turned out pretty well okay, at least i know that my bowling skills aren't that bad.

Saw many greendale students and teachers. Thought that we won't be seeing them but it turned out that we met more than one grp. Seriously, my clique had been saying that I looked glum the whole day, as if I'm not happy. But the truth is that, I'm having a sore throat so like no voice to talk, so I nv talk lor. When i'm not talking, I looked as if I'm emoing and sad but seriously, I'm not sad. In fact, I am very happy today. I enjoyed myself a lot and sort of like had some enlightment in today's outing.

After bowling, we went to pasir ris beach to view the scenary( is that how you spell it?). Took many pictures too. All the pictures aren't with me, weither with li jun, or don't know who. Lol. =] Anyway, just wanna say thanks to you guys for making my day today. I mean, if you guys haven't ask me out, I don't think I can enjoy myself today. So thank you guys. Got to go to bed now, au revoir. =]

2009-08-01T19:21:00.000+08:00

Hello, so long nv blog liao. Haix, actually, I've got nothing to do that's why i blog de. Haha, rubbish, no idea what i'm talking about.

Yesterday, six of us went to look for Ms Tao. Guess that's the last time we'll see her in sch as a teacher eh? We went to say farewell to her and took pics with her. Well, Mr Tan said that we should make her cry because... I also don't know. Haha, before I went, I told myself that I will not cry in front of her and I really thought that I could do it. But who knows, when Mr Tan played a song in the his laptop, Ms Tao actually cried. Haha, the jeslyn and li jun followed to0. Then me. My tears flowed out.

I did not want to cry because I want to leave a happy face for Ms Tao before she leave GDL. But when she hugged me, I couldn't control my tears anymore. I cried, and during the time when she hugged me, my tears kept flowing out. I don't want her to leave. I really don't want. Like what WT had said, GDL has lost another good teacher, which I think is true..And guess what? Mr Tan kept taking pictures of me crying because he didn't have one. Lol. Haha.

Anyway, I think i'll stop here. Gotta revise for CT4. My chemistry's toast. My mole and all the calculations. Haix, got to go now. See ya. Au revoir.

2009-07-19T19:59:00.000+08:00

What's wrong with me recently? I'm like out of mind.. Seriously, it's just that I didn't show it in sch. I need someone.. Someone whom I can keep scolding and hitting.. And cry in front of that person. I need advice from that someone too. Anyone? Cannot be my close friends.

I feel like bursting! I feel like throwing all my books away. If possible, I also want to throw myself away. Ahhhhhhhh!!!!

I'm feeling very terrible inside.. Anyone can help? I want to cry but the tears just don't come out. I can't continue anymore. How I wish I can stop now.. Or not, stop the time. Remain where I am now. I don't wish to move on, neither do I want to retreat now. Just stop. Like how a full stop marks the end of a sentence.

2009-07-11T14:52:00.000+08:00

I'm back! Haha, many things happened within this 2 weeks (to me). Many things came to my mind too, and of course, i got angry when i think about it. Oh ya, thanks jjs, for sparing a thought for me.

There are some things that I still can't get over. Some things that I think that shouldn't happen to me. Gosh, what am I talking about now? Ignore the things that I've just said. But... but.. I don't know la. Just need to find someone to talk to ba.. Aiya, I also don't know what's bothering me then find someone to talk for what? Forget it, nothing le. Au revoir.

2009-06-21T18:55:00.000+08:00

Today is Sunday, the second last week of sch hol. I don't want to go bck to sch. I want to live in my holiday mood. Haix, and I've not even started on my hw. My chinese got one thick stack, my amaths, my chem and my english. And I've not even finished reading my chinese book. Argh! I can't w8 for o levels to be over.

Looking for Ms Adar Ng Ai Qing's blog now. I can't find lor. Adar, mind giving me another clue? =P Just now, i was talking to alena about the BOF and found out that she likes Yoon Jihoo. Haha =]. I've been thinking abt the show leh. I can't get it out of my mind. It's like, I'll always think about it and most importantly, the main actor Gu Jun Pyo. Haha, my aunt told me since I like him so much, might as way marry him. No way man! I've got my own guy. Haha, no la, just joking. =]

Come to think about it... erm... how do i put it? Erm... Forget it nvm. I don't know how to say. Please, i really need help! I neeeeddddd someone to stop me from thinking about the show. I can't put myself out. I just hope that I'll pass all subs in EYE and not to keep thinking about the show. After I've finished watching the show, I have nothing to do at home. Cos' everytime I'll watch the show and not do my hw but now, there's no more show for me to watch.

Alrights, I need da go now. Got to go and cook noodles for my dinner. My eyes hurt, cos watch too much tv and youtube videos. Think i'll be getting a specs soon. =[ Au revoir!

2009-06-19T14:57:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah!! I've finally finished watching Boys Over Flower! Haha, it's really very nice lor. You know whenever i am watching the show, i would keep imagining myself as Geum Jan Di. Like you know two guys in her life and they are so cool. How I wish that there's really a Yi Hoo in my life. Haha, i think i'm insane eh.. after watching the video. =]

Well, i managed to finish the video before sch starts but my hw?! There's still a pile. I haven't even start on it lor. Chinese got so much. I don't even know when can I finish it. I haven't revise my physics, amath and chem. When sch reopens i'll die liao lor. Haix..Eh, i'm wondering.. I'm always wondering. Haha, i'm wondering if there's really a something in reality like Gu Jun Pyo and Geum Jan Di. Like you know, a true real love story like them. Haha.. How I wish there is.

To be honest, i identify with Yi Jung. I don't really believe in happy endings. Even if there is, that's like one in a thousand. How i wish i can be that one in a thousand.

Well, I think that's probably because I've not met my soulmate ba. Maybe after finding my soulmate and I'll think another way? =.= You know after watching that video, I'm always in my lalaland ; thinking about the video and whether there's a chance for me to be like that. Haha, i think i'm really insane. Totally insane.. =] [I don't mind though. =P]

Alrights, got to go and do my hw now. Going out later with family at night, so got to do some now or else I'll be rushing like hell next week. Au revoir! =]

2009-06-10T00:26:00.000+08:00

Back in action! Haha.. Just came back from grandma's hse. So tired today, cos' went to VJC for chemistry and so suai lor, i met my tuition friend there. Haix. Didn't know that he was from Anglican High. Jes said that he looked like one of our classmates in class, just that he's a lot shorter. Alrights, i shan't be mean to tease him.

After that took 135 hme and i was all alone in the bus. Spooky. The rest went to eat katong laksa. I wanted to go, but sore throat and on medication so can't. =.= Anyway, he suddenly stopped the bus and turned at looked at me. I was like: Oh gosh, why stopped now and looked at me? Haha, then he went down to change the board. Haha, being too sensitive liao.

Today, i just know that i'm a very impatient person. Okay, not really now then know la, but is now it for sure. I was teaching my cousin english and all he has to do was to unjumble the words into another. And it's damn easy okay like plane, late etc. He don't know, okay, not don't know. Don't wish to think and expect me to give him an answer. It's impossible de mah. I screamed and scolded him. He cried of course, what a crybaby! Then i told him to go to bed and he just won't budge. So i pulled him by his ear and push him to bed. Quite violent eh? I know but he's just that naughty k? He even scolded me lor.

Watched boys over flowers after that and mom scolded me. Haha, guess it's my retribution eh? Scolded my cousin and now it's my turn. She threatened that if i continue to watch, she's gonna ground me. Not exactly ground, but don't let me use com. I then don't care. I told her tmrw i'm going to ah ma hse for lunch so she no need cook. But actually, is go there use com to watch. She won't be home in the morning so no one's gonna stop me. Haha.. =P

Alright, shan't talk now. Gotcha continue with my show since she's watching tv now. Haha, au revoir! =D Nights everyone!

2009-06-03T22:52:00.001+08:00

Hello! Haha, did not blog for ages. Now also not free to blog. Cos' watching boys over flowers! Haha, the four of them are so handsome lor. Wa, if my boyfriend got so handsome jiu hao lo. Haha, just joking. Impossible de. lol.

Had to go to school this whole week for chemistry and amath. Sian lor, I'm in my holiday mood liao then ask me go back study. I can't absorb a single thing lor. Haix. Why is it that study is so difficult? If my life is like the main actress in the boys over flower then good lor. Haix, but my life isn't so lucky.

Don't want to continue liao, wanna continue watching the show on youtube. Haha, i've watched for about 2 hours, watching more than 10 episodes. Haha, i know i'm insane but i can't stop myself from watching it. Haha, i'm addicted. =D Au revoir.

2009-05-20T22:43:00.000+08:00

Nothing much to say today. Got back my results .... well, didn't do very well. I've sort of expected it cos' I did not work hard for it. I mean, because I've been failing, I think I've given up luh. I know I should not but I just did. Lols, what am I talking about? Mr Tan talked to me lor, aiya, he shouldn't have. He come then I cry. What I'm angry at is my chinese. Walao eh.. Forget it. Don't wanna say liao. Got to go now. Au revoir.

P.S. I'll be taking back my amath, ss and geog tmrw. Wish me all the best. No confidence in Amath at all. =[

2009-05-19T17:57:00.000+08:00

Yeah! My exams are finally over! =D But tmrw and thurs will get back results le leh. Confirm will cry de lor. I'm 100% sure that I'll fail my Amaths. Well, on second thoughts, I don't think I have the rights to cry. First, I did not study for the paper and second, I've sort of given up on that paper. I mean, I kept failing and the feeling's so.... so... I don't know.

Sometimes, I wish that I don't have to study at all. Why is my life so ordinary? Why can't itbe extrordinary? Haix, my only wish for now is to pass all sub (except amaths, cos it's no chance liao). My physics not good too. Can I start all over again? Aiya, why am I talking about all these things eh?

Listening to kiss the rain now. How I wish I know how to play this song. It's so peaceful and nice. Sometimes when I find it hard to cry, I'll listen to it and the next moment, I'll find myself crying. Haha... =D I wish that my uncle will buy me a piano when we moved house. I wish... I wish for many things in my life you know, but all the things that I wish... are... =(

My life, my journey, my future... It all seems so blur. I can't see what's in front of me, neither can i see what are my past. I kept repeating my mistakes.

Aiyo, what's happening to me today? Lols, suddenly, many things came to my mind, haha. I also not sure what to say. How I wish everyday will be like Saturday. See, I'm wishing again. Argh. Feeling sick now. Having cough and a little fever. My throat hurts. How I wish that I can sleep forever.. Argh, I'm wishing again. Lols, i think i better go now. Don't want to wish again. Au revoir..

2009-05-10T16:04:00.000+08:00

Mommy and me! =D

Ena playing my xylophone.

=D!

Why jeslyn join us?

Non-GO member get out! Haha...

2009-05-10T15:54:00.000+08:00

Hellos! I'm back, but today der post will be short. Having exams now, so stress. Honestly, I'm stress up. Not enough time to study and here I am wasting my time here undating my blog. Same as korr la. But at least, I used only 2 hours. Just now he tell me he use the whole morning liao lor. Lols, still dare to say, o levels liao leh. Haha..

Just now went to look at the JCs, only managed to list out six that i think, I repeat, I think I can go in. All got table tennis der. Haha, I only la, I'm adicted to it. Well, i won't deny the fact that I am but I'll try my best to do well. I only that my mid year won't do well because I've wasted a lot of time doing useless things. So, I'm going to strive harder for EYE.

I really want to play table tennis again ( although I just played the day before ). Haix.. Revising geog half way then headache. No mood to study liao lor. Haix.. Korr left msn liao, then no one to chat with me. Why is studying so diff? Whatever it is, I'll always look forward to saturday! But... sat is morning not at night. Why not at night? Then miss the chances to see him play. Told uncle to book at night don't want, want in the morning..

Anyways, got to go now. Got to continue to study le, tmrw going out to study too. Haha, hardworking right? I know that, you don't have to say. =P

Au revoir! =D

2009-05-01T21:14:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, I'm back blogging again. Quite emo today. I'm scared of exams. My phobia.. Thought that today's table tennis lesson with coach can help me to relax but it's no use. I was happy that I learned new skills today but somehow I don't really feel that happiness.

Don't know when can I learn from coach again. He said next week he's gonna teach me new things and sort of have a match with me eh, but next week exam liao, don't think mom's gonna let me go. Honestly, I don't know what's happening to me. Something's just not right. My mind, my emotions, everything about me.

Uncle said he's not going to book table tennis from 6 to 8pm. As in he's still going to book on sat, but not that timing, which also means, I can't see him again. Haix, uncle said that timing's too late so he's going to book an earlier timing which is 10 to 12 nn. Oh my, what am i suppose to do? Haix.. I really love table tennis but I don't know when my mom's going to ask to stop playing. I'm afraid she's going to end it like how she ended my life with music.

I'm not always so lucky to find something that interest me. Music is something that I'll never forget because I'll always remember how it brightens up my life and how it change my life. Now, my life of music is gone, and table tennis is my life. I don't want to stop my lessons.. I want to continue, at least till I finished my college life. But my mom doesn't want me to play table tennis. Not totally but kinda don't really approve it.

Don't know what to say now... I hope that there's someone whom will always be with me no matter what and be there when i need someone to talk to. I also hope that that person is someone who is willingly to pick up my phone no matter how late it is because I'm someone who always think back during the night time. How I wish that ... ... ... ... my life is simple.

2009-04-27T23:09:00.000+08:00

It's starting again.

I've been through it and yet I didn't see it. How stupid. I know many things, what's going to happen and most importantly, WHY it happened. But guess what? I chose to ignore that fact and be an ostrich ; a coward. I don't have the courage to face it.

Mom's right, I'm always an ostrich. I can change it you see, but I'm lazy and tired to. Well, I know, this is the road i chose so i mustn't complain or grumble. But, I don't deserve it. Why can't I get it? Why is it that others get it? I know the answers for all these questions, so? Mom said that I'm proud and I like to be in the front line. I don't deny it, for after all these years, I've been trying very hard to get what I think that I deserve. However, nothing came out.

Mom then said, putting so much hard work into it is no use, for she has already seen my future. She told me I can change it, it just depends on when I want to. If I delay any longer, more disappointments and unhappiness will enter my life. If I start now, I still have the control over it. No, all along I have the control, it's just that I let control to control it.

Changing it isn't easy. I've got to sacrifice certain things. I know that the things I'm gonna sacrifice are worth it, but it's the unwillingness in my heart that don't want to. I need someone to talk to, but that's not gonna be my friends, not Ms Leanne, not my teachers and not my mom. So who can i talk to?

2009-04-19T21:51:00.000+08:00

There are 2 things that i wanna say today but i think i will only say the second one. Tomorrow's our big day! SYF for greendale orchestra! After reading gdl orchestra's blog, I'm starting to feel sad about the sec 4s departure. Everything's so fast and it's like we've known them yesterday. How time flies ya. I thought that we will still have a long time together but who knows that it's not as long as what I thought it was suppose to be.

We laugh together, cry together, play together and everything that we do, we are always together. Last wed was the last combined practice before the syf and also the last combined practice with the sec 4s. After syf, we will say au revoir to them. My heart's beating faster every min, and i don't know how fast my heart will be when i'm on stage at 5pm.

We've come so far together and I know that we can do it. But there's another side of me thinking: what if we didn't get what we want? What if we failed? What if we got COP instead of silver? What if..... There are too many "what ifs". How i wish that you are woth me now, giving me support and encouragement. How i wish you are in orchestra and can give me your support in SCH tmrw. I really need support now. Ms Tao's msging me to encourage me but I'm simply just so scared.

I don't want to face tomorrow. Mom said that i'm an ostrich and i agreed. I don't overcome the prob, I hide from it. Haix... OMG! it's 10 plus le. Another 19 hours to SYF.. Argh! Don't worry Darunee. You can do it! =) Ms Tao just told me this: SYF is not just about getting the medal, but also to be able to manage stress and to give in our best. As long as we give in our bes, there will be no regrets. Gosh, i know that but i just can't get rid of that feeling. Whatever, i don't care le. Tmrw, i'm going up there, and i'll make sure that silver award is mine! Hehe, i sound so unreasonable. Hehe. I wish that you'll be there for me and smile when i got silver. Maybe with your presence around, i will be able to do it.

Au revoir, and i can do it tmrw cos I'm Darunee! =D

2009-03-27T21:37:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone! Yeah i know, i've been playing the MIA game again but i've got pretty good explanation for it ya. Homework, studies and everything so no time to blog lor, not a lame excuse k? Haha, today i'm very happy cos it's my BIRTHDAY! Haha, initially in sch like no mood then mei yi, li jun, joanne, ying zhuang and my ang ang celebrated with me. Hehe, and they bought me presents! Haha, I love presents. Wiky said he'll make up the present for me other day so shall w8 for his then. Joanne, Ying zhuang and Jacob, thanks for that present. I know that one definitely cost a bomb but thanks, really cos i really love that model, that grand piano. Thanks. And all my other friends, i loved your presents too

Apparantly, you guys know really know what i like. You know what jeslyn? You really fooled me. The box that you used to put your present in? I thought that's the gift that you're giving me. Who knows that it's actually.... ... Thanks anyway. Love all my friends forever. =DDD Oh ya, chen hao korr, so sorry for not able to go and watch the concert with you cos i got tuition ma. Then plus so last minute my mom won't allow de. So sorry. =D

Mei yim, the surprise was actually a msg that he sent to me through the internet. However, my hp don't have internet access so i can't read it. Haha, too bad, too sad. Hehe =D. Ytd, the whole percussion member celebrated my bday except for mommy cos she got oral. Then they went to buy those candles that you blow the flame will not go off de. And i was like keep blowong but no matter how hard i blow, it's the same. We made each other faces and you know what? That Alston's aiming is so lan lor. He wanted to make ena, then ena hide behind me and then i wanted to run away ma. Then who knows the chocolate cake he's holding fell onto me. What a nice present to give me Alston! Then I chased him like hell lor. L8r when throwing the leftovers away, i went to throw at him but i missed. He moved away and the cake fell on the floor. Then we got to clean up. Argh...

Went home then to wash that big patch of chocolate on my shirt. Argh, told mom abt it and she asked me to wash it. Haix.. No choice eh. Okay, i gussed i wrote too much le. Wanna sleep soon, so good night everyone and wiky ang, i'll be w8ing for your presents. [ Note that the wrod presents is with a 's' at the back.] Haha. Au revoir. =D

2009-03-14T15:35:00.000+08:00

Finally! I can update my blog. It's been like months since i last wrote something eh? Haha, yes yes Theresa, I'm very lazy. Do you know what time i sleep everyday? It's around 12.30 to 1 and I have to wake up at 5 plus. Lols, i am a pig so just 5 to 6 hours of sleeping time isn't enough for me.

3 words to describe my life and feelings now. STRESS, STRESS and STRESS. Honestly speaking, my results aren't good at all. Okay, i admit that I haven't been studying enough for both common test. But that's not the real reason for my poor results. I don't know what happened to me but this year, I don't feel like studying at all. I really don't know why but it's just that. I failed Amath for the first and second common test and you know what? I failed my ss for the second common test.

And I just said that I'm not stressed. I am stress, but not sure stress of what. Are you guys feeling the same way as me? I doubt so, your results are much better than mine, so how can you be stress?

The other day, Jeslyn and I went to look for her. Well, she wasn't free so we waited for about 10 mins or so. But in the end, I left without achieving what i want to do. I can't tell my mom all these things because i bet she doesn;t understands at all. Well, and today she said that sentence again. I think only jeslyn and mei yi knows what sentence is that. That sentence of hers reminded me of the past. Reminded me of that very first time she said that to me. Do you get what i mean? Forget it, don't wish to say anymore.

I read a book and there's a question that lingers in mind. Here goes: One day, the guy that you like ask you out. You agreed, but on that very day, it rains. You brought an umbrella with you. Would you be happy that you brought an umbrella with you or be unhappy that it rains on your hot date? I thought for a very long time, but i did not know what my answer would be. Why is it that people can look at the bright side of things but i can't? I've been telling myself not to look at the dark side but I still did.

Maybe after today's workout I can go back to my old self. Oh ya, I saw people playing table tennis a week ago and i really want to learn. The two boys were playing so well that i thought they are taking part in the youth olympic siia. Haha, i even told my mom that if she allows me to learn table tennis, i will not learn piano. However, i know inside that no matter what i will still learn piano. When i play the keyboard, I have certain feelings inside me that will tell me to relax. Although the music that i play cannot express my feelings, I still enjoy playing it. Haix, to be honest, all these are just my wishful thinking. My mom will never let me learn how to play table tennis or the piano.

I told her quite s couple of times about the piano but... Now, i don't even want to mention the word piano to her. Forget it, I got to go now. Got to go and prepare for my workout. See ya! Au revoir..

2009-01-27T20:56:00.000+08:00

Hellos! Did not blog for a couple of days. Hehe.. Too lazy and tired to. Just had steamboat for dinner. Damn delicious siia. Mom's a great cook, wonder if I can be like her when i grow up. Haha, my cousin and I were like fighting over the same food lor. Haha, i know i'm being childish and shld have give in to him, but i don't want to. Then i fought again with him for chicken wing. Haha, too bad he can't have it. He nearly vomited when having dinner. Luckily he didn't cos I was sitting just right beside him. Lols.

Use the com whole day liao, my eyes hurt. Nevermind, don't feel like switching it off. I was rather unhappy today cos in the morning my mom vent her anger on me. I knew the reason why she was unhapppy so i let her vent. But after that I really can't take it anymore and I talked back to her. I know that i shouldn't have done that but... forget it. That's why i put unhappy in my msn pm. Jj neo and jacob asked me why but i said nothing about it.

I'm getting pretty fed up with Amaths. I spent the whole afternoon doing 5 questions man. I wonder how am I going to finish up in my exams. Thank you Berlinda! She taught me a few and i knew how to do liao. Hehe

I wonder if ming li, eugene, li jun and nassim read my mail a not. I need them to read it by today siia, if not they won't know what to do for the thingy. Haix.. Feeling very tired and stress now. Sian, tmrw sch start liao. Haha, my korr and I said this thing too. True what, but i still can relax a liitle, he can't. O levels liao, don't work hard he die ar, still say wanna get 10 points and below.
His chinese get A2 lor, still say not good. I can get that i happy liao lo. Maybe I'll get B3 then die liao. Cannot continue with higher chinese. No no no, must think on the brighter side. Just like my 24 hour councellor said ," don't sigh, cannot give up" Jiayou Darunee!

My hands very tired liao, type too long liao. Think i'll stop here now. No mood to continue anyway. Au revoir, see ya tmrw. =D

2009-01-22T22:07:00.000+08:00

Hey, I'm really totally stressed-up ! I don't want to study anymore. I just don't want to study le. Sec 3 is so stress. Hate it forever and I hate all the subjects that i'm taking now. But it's the path that i wanna take ... ... and ... ... Forget about it. I don't wish to talk much. I'm going insane soon ! Amath, pure sciences ! Everything in my life ! Hate it hate it hate it ! Argh !

2009-01-18T19:27:00.000+08:00

Wow, I had been using the com for more than 3 hours liao le lor. My eyes so pain siia. Aiya, help miss lee find the pics lor, but i finally finished liao. Haha, then Yu Xuan talked to me. Haix, so tired today. I'm feeling very cold again lehs. Die liao lah, everytime i feel cold mean i'm gonna fall sick. I just recovered not long ago siia.

Today i'm really very tired and Jacob bring me around the bush. He just won't tell me who's the girl in his mind. Nevermind, I'm gonna find out on my own and one day, he'll definetely ( is this spelling correct? ) say you're right. Haha.. Okay, too tired to continue le, eyes so pain. Will be back on tuesday. =D Au revoir

2009-01-17T15:23:00.000+08:00

Ytd was the most tiring day for me. Not physically ( is that how you spell it? ) but mentally. I did Amath at tuition and honestly speaking, I don't know what my tutor Ray was talking about half the time. He was teaching something about the basics but not goona be tested in exams and for goodness sake, I can't even master my basics, how am I going to score?

Went back to grandma's house then and on the way back, I really feel like crying cos I don't know how to do the questions and I've got to hand it up to Ray next lesson. Oh shit.. Whatever. Opened the door and my uncle asked me go down to the basement to his car to take the otah. What? I can't go down to the basements at night, besides it's so creepy down there. And I told him no, i can't. And here's what he said " I'm so angry with your cousin now and you don't want to help me this small thing. Okay, fine, don't go then don't go lor. " What lah, I'm already so upset over my studies le and then he still scold me. Like my fault siia, is he forgot to take ma. Whatever, and I went down and i cred in the lift and basement. On my way up, i stopped crying, and kept laughing to make myself look normal but my eyes were still swollen so forget about it. Went home and just ate my dinner.

Mom asked me why i looked so angry and I said nothing, just tired. But actually it's not that. I took the train home and watched tv until 11.30pm. I wanted to cry but i don't know why, whenever i'm in my room, I just can't cry. It's like something's stopping me. Whatever it is, today, I'm feeling better cos Ms Ho was in the class kept making me laugh. I love Ms Ho forever! She's the best english teacher I'ver ever had and whenever I'm sad, the moment I hear her jokes, I would laugh and laugh and laugh. She's really very good.

Everytime on msn always talk to Jacob de, he's like my 24 hour counsellor lor. Someimes I feel like I'm bothering him lor. Haha, he wanna take law siia, used to be what i wanted. Anyway, i got to go now. 5 more mins and I'll be leaving my mom's office so got to pack first. I'll be back like maybe 2 days l8r? Hehe, got to rush out hw le. Haix, sian lor. Au revoir. =D

2009-01-14T23:39:00.000+08:00

Today had Amaths lesson again and I really wanna cry lor. I don't know how to do the questions and then the boys sitting ard me all know how to do lor. I feel like an idiot lor, ppl know i don't know. Honestly, I nearly broke down when doing Amaths. Ms Yue gave us two questions to do and we took an hour to complete it. Don't know how am i going to cope with the exams. Haix...

Now, going to twelve le and I'm still doing my hw. What the? I'm so tired le. I don't want to study anymore. I'm so tired and stress siia. Forget about it, even if I complain for another thousand times it's still the same. I still gotta study. Alright, I shall end here becos I'm really sleepy and tired now and the only thing in my mind is to finish up my chinese and go to bed. I can't wait to go to bed. Okay, see ya guys. Au revoir. =D

2009-01-13T20:17:00.000+08:00

Hi guys, just to say beforehand, I won't be blogging as often as I used to be. I've been so busy in school and my studies that I don't even have time for sleep. Haix, how I wish that I won't be so stress and everything. Well, it's not just being stress alone that matters to me, my relationship with my mom has not been good good recently. Just like today, I met her at compass point then go home together ma, then we were talking and talking and the next moment, we were quarreling and she went her way and I walked my way home. It's just over trival stuffs but she just doesn't understands why I want it.

I'm starting to hate home, I mean, I come home, eat then quarrel, upset, do homework and sleep. What this lah? Everyday quarrel? We are both so stubborn until ... ... I really feel like crying. I don't want to study, I don't want to come home and I want to stay in school. It's the only place where you'll see me laughing all the time cos with, jeslyn, mei yi, li jun, joanne, jarvis and xavier my di. They are always there for me even Jarvis entertain me. Like today, I went to his class after sch and we were there talking until 5pm. I didn't feel like going home so I stayed there.

If I really break down, then what shld I do? My tears are whelming up in my eyes and the words are getting blur. I remembered when I was young and how my mom treated me. She's like so caring. But as I grow older, I'm starting to hate the situation that I'm in now ( only some of you knows ). Sometimes, I feel that I really don't deserve in this situation okay. I know the reason why I'm in this situation and it's just that ... ... Whatever, I don't wish to talk about it anymore.

Okay, I've got to start my work now, my emaths hw and my revision for Amath. I don't know what Ms Yue say lor during lesson time, I only managed to catch a little bit, but not too much, so I've got to do revision, or else I'll have to drop le lehs. Okay, don't say so much le, I go bathe now then do le. See ya around. Au revoir ... ...

P.S. I don't think about it.

2009-01-11T16:46:00.000+08:00

Okay, I know my blog's dead for like days or weeks but i've got reasons okay. I got to help out at the sec 1 orientation and i came home late and got to prepare myself for the next day activity. Plus, I was ill on wed, thur and fri so how could you expect me to blog when i'm sick? Haha, I'm not going to talk about the sec 1 orientation cos it's over for so long. All I had to say is that I had a great time with them especially Jarvis and Yu Xuan cos they always quarrel in class lor. I also had a great working experience with all the cfs and gm like dennis, wiky and the other two girls ( sorry I had forgotten your name ).

Started on my Amath and my gosh, it's so diff. Maybe because I missed the first two lessons but luckily, I managd to catch up but I don't know if I really know how to do a not. Physics was alright and I missed my first chemistry lesson on thur. Argh! They go lab leh, then I don't know where to sit siia. Tmrw got chem lesson l8r malu siia. Forget it, it's gonna be okay and I know i'm reassuring myself. Well, at least when I have problems with my maths I still have someone to ask at home and I did ask okay.

Missed my first chem test last thur, well it wasn't really a test but more of to see where our standards were and I'm telling you, I think I'm gonna fail. I had forgotten almost all the sec 2 work and just now I revised, I just couldn't get any of it into my head. Wow, that's gonna be a big new year present for me, failing my first test. Great ... ...

Honestly, I was rather disappointed when Jarvis and Xavier weren't in red house. They are like my entertainment, I mean they make me happy almost everyday. Xavier's so cute and Jarvis like everyday making fun of me lor. Haha, but at least they keep me happy. How I wish I can be in their class for the whole year lor.

Alright, I got nothing much to say le, got to back to study my chem again. That's gonna be boring. Study's so hard, can I stop for the time being? Haha, alright, see ya guys later. Au revoir. =D

2009-01-03T00:11:00.000+08:00

Wow, today's real tired man. Woke up at 6 am and then the bus 83 so crowded. Reached school and everything's so messy I think, but overall we still made it! That's a good news isn't it? Lols, took 1E3 and their class so quiet. Wonder if I can really break their ice next monday. Something I really wanna say lor but I think I better don't. It's gonna hurt a lot to tt person if I say.

Did class deco and sch. cheer and ice breakers. The guy call Jarvis damn funny siia. Kept going against me, still call me shorty. Argh! Then told wikt cos he beside me ma, then he laugh siia. You good lor wiky ang. Nevermind, short then short lor. Not I want to be short de ma. But then Jarvis.. Argh!

Now msning with Jacob and ZY abt this sunday's plan. Haven't inform jes and li jun what time movie end then meet them. Lols, mom's like nagging at me about going out just when sch started. Okay, today I'm really tired, I wanna go slp now. Jacob, remember to alarm me on sunday. If not I late not my prob! Okay, got to wash up now. See ya guys on sunday. Au revoir.. =D

2009-01-01T23:54:00.000+08:00

Happy new year everyone! It's a brand new year now so I think everything shld start afresh isn't it? Lols, tmrw need to go sch liao. I can't imagine what will happen in school tmrw lor and I can't believe that my holidays are over le. I mean, all of us got to get back to our sch life; wake up early and prepare for tests and exams. Haix... ... But there's no choice ma.

Had a hair cut today, shld be funny tmrw. I bet the rest will laugh at me ba. It's not weird but I'm not used to it. My hair... Tmrw sch start today cut hair, last minute siia. Then had my lunch and stuffs. I'm having a real bad mood these few days. Honestly, I don't wish to be like this but I just can't control it. I can't say it out cos it will be a big mistake if I do.

I shall end here cos there's sch tmrw and it's 12 am sharp now. Wow, cool. Alright, got to go now. Nothing to talk much actually so shld see ya guys tmrw in sch. Have a good night anyway ( I bet I'll have nightmares tonight ). Au revoir. :)

2008-12-31T23:35:00.000+08:00

Ytd went to sch to prepare for the sec 1 orientation. Last dry run le. Scared siia, don't think I really prepared myself for it lor. How siia? Anyway, ytd was fun man! Played the games and I love the captian's ball one. Vernon was like " 不要怕那个球，大胆地去玩 " Haha, it's true that I'm afraid of balls because I kana hit before ma. Vernon very good player lor. He's like good in all the sports siia. That time played badminton wasn't good enough. Maybe when sch reopens see when asked him play, anyway same class ma so easy to ask.

Went out today with my uncle, aunt, cousin and her ex-piano teacher. We went to paragon to eat the spagetti ( is that how you spell it? Gosh my eng is getting worse siia! ) at the spageddie. It was nice man! You guys shld tried out next time although the price is abit ex but it's worth it. Had the seafood, the fish & chips and the crayfish pasta. Wow, great man! I eat alot I know but because it's delicious ma. After that had tiramisu, I don't really like it cos the coffee and the chocolate, gosh, ate a few spoons then stop le. Order the apple cobbler with the vanilla ice-cream on top. Taste great siia, I know almost everything taste great to me but tt's because it's great ma right? Ate half way can't finish so ask teacher ursula and aunt to help me. They didn't really help much but in the end my aunt finished it up.

Went to walf ard 4 awhile and today I'm guai okay, I didn't buy any clothes. Well, cos there the clothes are too old for me le, so I didn't buy. After that send her to Lewis Road to her frenz hse 4 countdown. Cool, never had I have countdown at my frenz's place. Uncle drove me home and here I am posting. So bored lehhs, nothing to do at home. Haix, today I very tired so I shan't post anymore. Going to bed now, lazy to blog tmrw le so maybe no blogging for the next few days ba. Haha, Ms Tour Guide pang seh me, tmrw can't watch twilight but I'm going to watch it this sat. Confirm de, after my tuition then I go meet her and jes ( if jes is free). Havent inform jes yet, tmrw then inform lahh, I think she sleep le and I also too tired to msg le. Going to be a pig soon and I shall wish you guys Happy New Year and I'm not going to reply your msg when the clock strikes 12 midnight. I'll be in my dreamland with my Mr Right. Haha, no lahh.. Just joking niia. Alright, good night and Happy New Year guys! Au revoir. =D

2008-12-28T16:25:00.001+08:00

Hellos! Raining outside now, haix, hate raining days. Ytd went 2 byron 4 eng tuiton. Ms Ho, my eng teacher was so hilarious lor. I really enjoyed her lessons alot. Xiao Xing Xing you said you wanna join. So you still want? Tell me k? Half of her lesson I'm laughing lor, she's simply a great teacher. I love you Ms Ho!!! Haha, she's good k?

After tuition my stomach was very hungry lor. It's from 11am to 1pm ma so my lunch time over. Went to AMKH to meet my uncle. He treating me eat beef siia, at the pepper lunch. Not bad actually, quite nice. I didn't order steak cos I didn't feel like eating it. So I ordered salmon and chicken pepper rice. Lols, I was so stupid lor, thought that they gonna put pepper in the set meal, the whole set meal. Initially, uncle said that he did not want 2 eat, then l8r see me eat, he drooled lor. Haha, so he ordered the steak and I just had a few pieces. Nice siia the beef, but I'm not gonna eat alone lor. If one eat, ask him bring me to eat. Haha..

Then went shopping. Siia lahh, my aunt bought so many shirts lor. Say what for my uncle, no lor. My uncle only got 2 pieces and the rest are hers siia. My uncle passed her $150 and I thought she gonna spent all siia. She read the sign wrongly.She wanted to buy the polo shirt and thought that each one costs $5. No lor, wait long long arh. 2 pieces cost $30 siia. So I go put back all 4 her and she only bought 2 polo shirts.

After that I went to IP Zone and bought 2 t-shirts I think. I bought some for Agus too. As a christmas present niia, not other things, cos he bought me the twilight book remember? We spent abt $98 in total lor. Haha, my aunt bought nothing 4 my cousin. Poor him.. He didn't get any shirts and still must help me take care of my twilight book. Oh ya, you know what? I finished the Twilight book le, in two days time. I spent all my free time reading it siia. Damn nice lor. How I wish I'm like Bella Swan. After all, not all vampires are bad so it's not wrong for me to want to be Bella Swan. I wanna buy the second book de, but my mom like don't allow lehhs. Haix, if I had worked for her I would have some money ( cos that's my salary) to buy le. How? I want to continue reading it but my mom don't allow me to buy. Honestly speaking, this kind of book got cost less than $18 de mehhs? Then she said no, I think cos she didn't really want me to buy.

Going to watch the movie with Ms Tour Guide and Denverson. I haven't buy my school bag siia. Going to buy with xiao xing xing. Hehe.. But she haven't agree yet, she only said maybe can cos she got smth on in the evening. Hope can lehhs, I waited 4 her to come back to watch the movie with her siia. Outside stopped raining le. Good good, so humid siia these few days. The rain like rain for nothing siia. Going to have steamboat l8r siia, so hot still eat steamboat. But nevermind lah, mom's cooking my favourites I think so nvm. If cannot stand the heat then on air-con lor. No problem de. Hehe.. I sound like a spoiled child siia.

I'm alone at home now, mom went to Grandma's hse to prepare the dinner. Haix.. So dark siia, I scared lehhs.. How? No one's at home to talk and accompany me. Hate darkness forever. Past few days have been doing spring cleaning siia. Do until my backache until no words can describe the painfulness. Next time when I grow up, I'll hire a maid and ask her do the household chores. So I must work hard hard le. While packing and cleaning, I saw my photos that I took with my dad when I was young. Like 8 or 9 years ago I think. My mom did not let me have the one and only photo that the three of us took together. Anyway, with or without it doesn't matter at all.

Alright, I got to go now. See ya guys around and all interactors pls take note that there's no board meeting tmrw. Haha, see ya guys then. Au revoir. =D

2008-12-26T14:45:00.000+08:00

Starting to fall asleep I guess?

Got food then he'll smile. But his smile.. Doesn't look nice at all. Mine better! Haha..
Too sleepy..
Cool huh? Have a hp when he's not even pri 1.
My cousin and his mom

2008-12-26T13:49:00.000+08:00

My cousin and his father
My uncle and I! First time siia.. Haha
Look at his mouth.. Look.. How can he take pics with me with his mouth like this?!
Look at his mouth again! Change pretty fast huh? Lol..
Do they look alike? Many ppl said that they do.. They are not lor. Where do they look alike?

2008-12-26T13:08:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas! Yeah! Christmas here.. But I only receive one present.. That's from Agus. He left it in his cabinet before he went back to indonesia. It's actually a novel. Yeah, the one that I wanted " Twilight". Just read about 10 pages I think. He even left me a letter. Alright, not a love letter. Just a christmas wish letter. Here's what he wrote : " Don't be surprised when you look at this. You don't believe it Santa Claus right? Now you do! I have just ask him to send this to you. " Wait, doesn't this sounds abit weird? Lols, let's continue with what he said.

" Firstly, I hope that you have not bought the Twilight cause if you did, then you'll have 2. But if you haven't, then save your money for other things. Secondly, I hope the book will be as exciting as you have expected it to be. Don't worry about the price! I used the voucher that I had won from the Malay camp, so it's free.Actually there are 2 different size ; small and big. Well.. I chose the big one cos it looks smart when you carry it around and the quality if the paper is higher." Wait, I don't look smart in anything k, let alone a book. Go on.

"I prepared this the night before I went back to indonesia and I wrote this letter just right beside you. You didn't notice it did you? Lastly, this is your christmas present so let your mom know this and that the novel cost me nothing. Remember, NOTHING! The YCP stands for "your christmas present" I would say that you are lucky. Unlike Li Jun, she has to get the password before she can open up e present." Okay, done. That's alot right? I feel so bad siia, to use up his voucher.

Ytd Christmas was like the most tiring day lor. Went out with family the whole day and my legs are aching now. Went to vivo and then go time zone. After that go shop shop but they did not buy anything for me! Except for sweets? But that's not counted siia. So small and it's not present at all. Argh! Kelvin said that my socks too smelly so Santa don't want put presents in it. Lols.. how old liao still like kids siia. Haha.. But he's the man of influence after all. Then all of us went to eat and poor mommy and grandma got nothing 2 eat. They are vegetarians for the next few days so can't eat any meat.

And you know what? My that cousin who's not even primary one ( not until next friday) used his handphone and kept taking pics lor. Can you believe it?! He's not even Primary 1 for goodness sake. I got mine like pri 4 or 5 and he's like.. Argh! So I took pics with him and my uncle. Haha.. Never take pics with my uncle b4 so felt very very awkard. I mean he's an adult and I've never take pics with a man his age. Will post it up l8r.

Haix.. Going Tan Tock Seng Hospital l8r again cos grandma needs to go 4 her acupuncture. Haix.. There got nothing to do de plus cannot find ms chua.. Haix.. I'm so bored now. Okay, I wanna post the pics now cos talk too much le. DENVERSON! I got put pics hor. Is just that I lazy go transfer and upload. Lols.. Au revoir.. =D

2008-12-23T18:57:00.001+08:00

Went to visit a doc today at chinatown. Not the western one, is the traditional chinese physician. Had sore throat, runny nose and cough. Stupid. And you know how much my medicine cost? $47, siao. My mom and uncle went 2 visit him too. Haha, and our total cost was $187. Siao right? I can take this money go shopping liao lor. Haha, nevermind. My mother's frenz gave me $200 to buy books but I already buy le so mom says I can use the money go shopping with jeslyn! Yeah! But I intend to spent only one hundred bucks. That's like half liao le. Jeslyn! Quickly come back from indonesia, then can go shop shop with u.. Hehe..

I took the medicine like mid afternoon and it's so bitter lor. Still got the taste now. But at least it taste better then western medicine. Don't have those weird weird taste. Haha, Mei yi, we are so different yet you are my twin soul. Hehe.. Went to have a nap after taking the medicine and I overslept. I shld have followed my uncle to my cousin's christmas party cos I chose the cake for them siia and yet I don't get to eat it. $40+ lehhs the cake, and I can't taste it. Argh! He lahh, never call me wake up. Haix.. Forget about it luh, cousin's now at home watching Ben 10. Lols, so violent lor. Next time he become violent siia. Then still talk back to me. Walao, if I had knew, I wouldn't have shared the packet of pocky with him le.

Now I'm shivering siia. Don't know why and my throat iches. Maybe I shldn't have eaten that packet of pocky cos the physician said that I shldn't? Haha.. Oh ya, I haven't tell you what he said about my name. My name in chinese is 靖炜ma, then he said I shld have it written like this 净玮 or 晶玮. Haha, he so old liao still so funny. He's like my doctor since I was young so he knows alot about me. When he saw me he said "这么大了啊？你长得好快哦。。" He said my name de 杀气很重 so i shldn't have it. It's more like a guy's name. Yeah I know but this was what the thailand monk or whoever gave it to me de. Haha.. Maybe shld change the name? But I scared l8r change le my 命 got smth wrong? Okay I know I'm superstitious ( is that how you spell it?) Nevermind.

Okay, got to go have my dinner le. I haven't write finish siia. Duh! Forget about it. If not l8r mom will be screaming in my ear le. Okay, see ya guys tmrw or thur ba. I wana go wear jacket le. Shivering like hell. See ya, au revoir. =D

2008-12-21T14:24:00.000+08:00

I don't know what to write today. Nothing actually, but just that my back aches because I've been tidying up my house since ytd morning? Did the cleanings, my own studying room and others. I have been having bad nights these few days. I don't know why.>br>
What will I be like next year? Many things had happened in this holiday. Good and bad memories. And one important thingy is that, I lost my trust. As in trust in something else. I still have trust in other things like friendship etc but not trust in... ... Maybe I'm just being silly. Just help korr ytd in his relationships stuffs. And I finally know who he likes le. Or maybe love? Haha..

Okay, I feel like an idiot. I know what happened already. Even if you don't say I already know le. Don't worry, nothing's gonna happen. After all, we won't be keeping in touch le. About a week or more sch's gonna reopen. All of us will be very busy and perhaps we would ever forgot about each other. Haha.. Korr now heartbroken. Me too. But I'm sure I'll get over it faster than he does. Cos he wants to continue, but I.. I don't know. Shall see first. Anyway, all of us got to move on. Korr said it too. I did not tell him about this cos I don't want him l8r keep questioning me.

Alright, I've got to go now. Got to help my mom with the cleaning if not she'll start nagging. 我什么都知道了。好想回去我们相处的那段日子，可是。。。我不想断了我们之间俩的缘分可是我真的好辛苦，好像永远都快乐不起来了。所以我决定来个了断，把不开心的事都忘掉，好让我能生活得更快乐。我祝你生活快乐，事事顺利。我会记得我和你度过的那几天和那些美好的回忆。再见啦。Au revoir my dear.

2008-12-19T18:42:00.000+08:00

Hellos! So happy today. Went for student leader duty for the sec 1 reporting day. Okay lahh, I did not get the "job" that I wanted. I wanted to be the one in the hall writing the queue number on the white board but Mr.See sent me to be the ushers. Initially was Li Jun and me de lorr. Then he changed to Famirah. Haha.. Okay, had a great time working with her too.

At first I don't know how to speak to the parents because they like kept walking and ignored your presence. But not really lah, they just curious about the sch I think. Then this guy called Aloysius Chua came and kept asking me to speak up. Lols, not I don't want lor. Then I speak up in front of him and he got nothing to say. The parents very funny de lehhs, they kept looking at Famirah and me. One of them even asked us how much is the sch fees and both of us were stunned. We didn't know how to answer him cos we don't know. Haha, then we go ask aloy and he said " Good question! How I know the answer siia.." Dots.. =.=

Talked to a parent for like 20 mins or so. Kept asking me about the sch and higher chinese. Her daughter very shy siia, don't dare to talk. I looked scary mehhs? Aloy and Jacob damn bad siia. Kept taking phtos of me and Famirah. Haha, luckily I turned then they did not manage to take. Famirah suai lor, she didn't know and she turned. Just nice they took. Haha.. Happy photos. Jj tien made me run up and down lor. I don't know where he is ma, then the pencils with me. So I went up to look for him. Ziyi said he downstairs at the uniform counter there. And I went down again. Found him and passed to him, he l8r said, help me put on the tables outside the hall. What?! Gotta run up again. Like siao siia. Argh!

Yeah, Mom come back le. Got dinner to eat le. Sorry Denverson, can't have dinner with you. You so late then ask me, my mom buy back liao. Haha.. sorry. Next time ba.. Okay, got to go now. Got to have my dinner, and Aloy u owe me a treat. Aiya, forget about it. You also dont know what I'm saying. Never mind. Very hungry now. Want to eat my chicken wing le. Hehe, uncle bought it for me. Good right? If not my uncle mehhs? Hehe.. Okay, see ya guyys. Hey, I really missed all my co camp frenzs. How I wished to see them again. Really missed them. All of them. Oh ya, last question, will u still remember someone who has hurt u before? Okay, got to go now. Au revoir. =D

2008-12-18T14:26:00.000+08:00

Back today. Not really in a good mood. Not sure of the reason too. I just don't feel good. Perhaps it's because school is reopening soon? Hey, that sounds like a question more than an answer. Forget about it. Anyway, tmrw going back sch for student leader. Hahas, sec 1s reporting day. Wonder what class will I be taking. Hehe.. ^^

Oh ya guyys, you know my cousin, the little guy. Haha, know what? He told me ytd that he liked someone. Not the friendship type, the relationship type. Hahaha.. He's just 6 years old, not even primary one yet. How could he know what's love or like? Haha.. I don't know that girl yet, but I'm going to find out soon enough. Maybe go fetch him from sch then ask him point to me? Lols..

Honestly, I'm finding school holidays boring. I have nothing to do and mom does not allow me to go out. I'm totally bored at home. Plus, there's no one to talk to me at home, and my mood is like lonely, tired and bored. But when school starts I'll be like, what the hell? So fast school starts? Very 矛盾right? I know it. What should I do now? Just msg li jun and then asked her if I'm bothering her and mei yi and whether I'm annoying anot. But I think I am. What's happening to me?

Never mind. Don't suppose you guyys have the answer cos I don't have the answer too. I want xiao xing xing quickly come back. She got things wanna ask me and I wanna talk to her. Okay, I wanna go play my electronic keyboard now. Then must go revise work le. See ya. Au revoir. =D

2008-12-17T17:38:00.000+08:00

Just hang up the phone. Denverson was like, " Great, you ruined my day tomorrow." Lols, what lah. He did not tell me the details lor, if i tell my mom I'm going out tmrw she's gonna be mad. Everything never say. Plus my grandma is still sick siia. How can I leave her at home by herself. Anything can happen k. Lols, maybe wait till you come back then go out can? Oh ya, remember to get me a souvenior too. Hehe.. ^^

Ytd was sooo bored lorr. Mom spent the whole day cooking cos she make the yong tau foo. Haix, then I was just there sitting in front of the television and there were to watch lor. The shows, I can't believe that even Cable TV also don't have lor. Argh! Wanted to go down for a swim de, but no one accompanied me so just cast aside the thought. Then went to grandma's room to take a nap. You know what? Since holiday started till now, I've been sleeping at 1 am lor. So tired siia. But i just can't go to bed early. Everyday reach home at 11 pm. Still need to bathe and dry my hair lehhs? Can I just go home early?

Now headache. Just finish playing my electronic keyboard then quickly switch it to piano. Lols, trying to learn one song. I just realised smth. My bass clef sight reading is very bad. Till now you noe? Lols, really must buck up siia. Haix, anyway I also don't noe when my mom wants me to continue my piano. Is like, she promised to let me learn if I agreed to quit my keyboard lessons. And now what? She stopped it cos the teacher not good. The teacher good wat.. Argh!

Got to go and continue with my work le. Maybe I'll blog again l8r? Or maybe tmrw ba. My head now very pain. See ya guyys. Au revoir.

2008-12-15T17:31:00.000+08:00

Hi guyys, ermm.. today I won't be posting cos my grandma is running a high fever now and I'm looking after her. This is the first time I seen her running a fever. Really. And I'm now very worried. She's 87 years old le. I really don't want to see anything happening to her. Really. She dotes on me so much. I don't want anything to happen to her. While heating up the porridge for her, I freaked out cos I'm too worried. So sorry guyys, really got to go now. I wanna go pray for her.

2008-12-14T21:45:00.000+08:00

Hello! Listening to music now. Sometimes when we touch by olivia ong. Her voice is so smooth and clear. Really like her songs, especially "it's real" and "fly me to the moon". Went to popular this afternoon and saw this book called " unbreakable spirit" i think. Lazy to go double check. It's quite thin, not the usual thickness that i always read. It should be a nice story cos it's a true story about a girl who was nearly murdered by her own father. Can you imagine that? That's awful. Her father you know? I bought the book although it cost $17++. My mom was like " it's just a book and i can go borrow it from the library. But she doesn't understand. I just want it. Okay, i'm like a spoiled girl. Honestly, I'm one. I think. Cos, 我对物质要求很高. Am i suppose to put it this way? Lols, my chinese fail lah lor.

Haix.. Then you know what? I went to the dictionary section, intending to buy a pocket dictionary and my whole family were like, buy this one. No.. buy this.. What lahh? I can choose. I don't mind them giving me their opinions but it turned out that they were arguing which eng dic is better. Lols, is there a need? Haha, funny siia..

Did spring cleaning just now. Not exactly spring cleaning but just like tidied up my serangoon house de room cos the maid is coming ma. So must give her my room. Anyway, I might be moving again. My family are looking for a house now. Okay, I don't know how many times I have to move. I know I moved many times but.. Argh! My mom's rushing me home now. I can't even write my blog. What the.. Forget about it! She spoiled my mood anyway, keep on saying when will you be done. Alright, now I'm done. When she used, I have to wait for hours. Now, when I'm using, she's rushing me home. Don't want to write le. See ya.. Good night. Au revoir

2008-12-12T15:00:00.000+08:00

Orchestra was fun ytd. Ms Xu Hui just told me to practice on the set piece and the beat of the song in the middle part. Then I just practiced for a while Mr Wah came and ask me, Alston and Sean to help Ms Lee. Haha.. She got alot of things to throw lorr. Next year she teaching me hcl again. Then she said "靖炜，明年又是我教你们高华，倒霉吗？" Lols, her 马 next year not in hcl le, her 牛 must work harder lo. Jia you ba, ms tour guide!

Went back to CO room then Ms Xu Hui go play this game. Walao, she go asked Alston to label the girls in percussion. As in like who stand the first place and so on in his heart. Then she don't let Felicia and me to know lorr. Alston Ong you go lorr. Then I thought no more liao ma, who knows she l8r go asked Alston to write on a piece of paper who he like and must label them siia. Walao, she don't let both of us know then WT and Hui Xuan can know. Argh! Alston lahh.. all of us are curious ma, then he don't let the others see. Good lorr you.. He kept speaking in cantonese to me lorr. Ms Xu Hui and I kept laughing lorr. He say until not clear then he kept scolding me. What lor?

Haix.. nothing to do now. Maybe go revise my next year work? But it's soooo boring. Grandma's house nothing to do de. Watch tv? Don't want. Eyes pain cos watch too much and everyday 1 am sleep, so tired. What to do? What to do? Can't wait for 19 dec. Wanna see the new sec 1s coming in. Hahaha.. Wanna see anyone I know from Nan Chiau. Hehe ^^. Can't wait for Christmas too. Wanna ask uncle to buy X'mas presents for me. Hehe.. I don't want sch to reopen. I sch reopen means I'm gonna be stress again and many unhappy things will happen.

I want to watch the movie "Twilight" lehhs,but jeslyn haven't come back from indo, if not we can go watch together with other ppl. Don't know if li jun, joanne and ying zhuang want to watch anot. Mei yi going to watch with her family. Hahas, their relationship like so good lorr. Envy them.. Wonder next year who's gonna be my form and co-form teacher. Hehe.. =] Don't feel like writing anymore. Eyes very pain, wanna off the com now. Talk again next time ya. See you guys later! ^^

2008-12-10T17:49:00.000+08:00

Went for CO today and just came back. Rather sleepy during CO cos I'm sitting at the back alone with my vibraphone and there's no one near me. They all sit in front cos their instrument in front lols. Alston and Sean there keep talking and hitting each other. Lols, no wonder they are called the gay. Just joking siia Alston. ^^ Mr Lim practiced the set piece for so long and the room was so cold. I wore a jacket le but I'm still shivering lorr.

About 4.30pm then he started practising 拉萨行打鬼 and I completely forgotten abt it. Moved to the front with Ena and waited there. Kept hitting the wrong notes on the xylophone cos need to increase the speed and I totally freaked out. Haha.. Then while playing the sixteen notes with Ena and WT, Ena suddenly stopped both of us with her hand right in front of us. Lols, Mr Lim stopped suddenly and both of us didn't know and we kept playing. Haha. We kana shocked siia, by Ena. =D

Eating steamboat l8r with mom. Lols, not sure if can finish a not lorr. Only both of us. Hope she doesn't cook too much. It's been a long time since we ate together. She must be in a very good mood today lorr.^^ Oh ya, I have been wondering about this question since the results were out for our new class. How am I suppose to cope with my studies next year with so many things coming up? Orchestra SYF, Interact club overseas project and many more. Scared that I can't manage siia. Never mind, I just do my best can le ( Now I say do my best, next year you'll see me slack for sure.)

Okay, now nothing to write le. Tomorrow last orchestra practice le! Yeah! But still got student leader. 19 Dec and 30 Dec still must go back sch. Haix.. I every week go back school de lorr. Okay, got to go and have my shower now. See ya guys l8r! Au revoir.. =D Will miss ya for sure de.. ^^ Oh ya, I now agree that "promise" is a very big word. You really gotta make sure that you promise or else, don't promise. That's what others had told me and what I had learnt.

2008-12-09T15:13:00.000+08:00

Hi I'm back again! Haha.. These few days nothing extraordinary happened so don't seem to have anything to write. Hahaha. =D Just this morning, I went to Byron to pay my tuition fees. And I waited there for like 20 mins? No one was there lorr. Not the first time and it's rather embarrassing that I'm sitting outside the place. I mean everyone walked by and looked at me and was wondering why am I sitting outside. Duh! Haha.. =P Then Shirley came and I just had a chat with her while paying my fees. She's a nice lady and the way she kept apologising to me when she saw me sitting outside. Haha, no worries Shirley. It wasn't really a long wait after all.

I was tempted to buy Mr Bean on my way home but cast outside the thought when I realised that I spent quite alot of money this holidays. I can drink it another day de ma. Now listening to Jay Chou's " 说好的幸福呢". Many things came to my mind. Especially the CO camp. We were strangers and none of us knew each other but we turned out to be laughing and having fun together in the end. Funny isn't it? I think the three days camp is the best thingy I had for this holiday. I'll remember what happened and each and everyone there.

I used to hate camps alot. I totally hate it. My first camp was the Sec 2 camp and to me it wasn't really fun because I fell sick. Haha, just few days before going to Bei Jing for exchange prog. Haha. CO camp was the second camp I had and I think I had a great time there. After all, I don't think camps are as bad as I had imagine. ^^There are still many things in my mind while listening to the song. Too many to list.

Just bought my textbooks ytd and it was really heavy. My gosh, physics and chem were so thick! Haha, nevermind. Just two years, I'll get used to it. Had a bad dream last night. Don't wish to talk abt it, becos I was hurt. Not in the dream but also in reality. Hurt badly too. Haix.. Change topic.. Nothing to talk about lehhs.. Maybe just stop here. Will continue maybe tmrw? Oh ya, tmrw got ochestra, thur also have. So see I got to post anot lorr. Got then post, if not.. see ya!

Really wanna forget about it. But I can't help it and I always think about it.

2008-12-07T11:59:00.000+08:00

I'm telling you, I'm sick of my life! Had an argument with mom today again. Just like any other day. Sometimes I really wished that I'm not born in this world. It's so frustrating to quarrel with her everyday. I really wished that I'm having school now, so I won't have to stay at home and quarrel with her. After e "chat", both of us went our own way. We entered the lrt at different doors and the mrt at different doors too. And the dist. between the doors we entered were quite far. Whatever. Then I just alighted and walked to my grandma's hose alone and she's behind strolling. Fine, whatever she wants it to be. I suppose we wont be talking to each other for the next few days. Typical holiday.

Then just now the phone rang and it was my relative who's coming l8r to visit my grandma. He wanted to know how to come to serangoon from pasir ris, so my grandma asked my uncle to pick up the phone but he didn't. So I picked up for him and passed to him. He said that his hand full of foam so asked my mom to listen. Then I passed to my mom and she's cutting veg. And none of them wants to answer it. What? And then they started a small small quarrel. Argh! See, my life seems to be filled with arguements, unhappiness, anger and darkness. I realised one thing. In my blog, I'm always writing how unhappy I am and how unfair life is. Maybe it's meant to be like this. My life, everything. Maybe it shld be like this..

2008-12-06T21:24:00.000+08:00

Hiya! Went to Hougang Green there to have lunch with family and then went to find a maid. There got a lot of maid agents lorr, find until like siao. Then you know what?! There's one agent who thought that I'm a maid. What the? I looked like one mehhs? I mean I know I'm dark-skinned but DO I LOOK LIKE A MAID TO YOU? Argh! Don't want to talk about it le. So what lorr. Never mind. I 大人不记小人过, take it that this thing has never ever happen in my life! Lols. Hehe.. =D

On our way back I slept in my uncle's car. I was deadbeat you know? Then reached home and the stupid door like no sensor de lorr. I tapped my card le mahh, then it never open. Haix, make me tapped again. Then the life. I pressed the button for it to come down ma. It like take so long lorr. Usually is fast de lorr. When it reached the basement, the life never open the door lorr. What? I'm so tired today and the lift still bully me. Then my aunt say "靖炜要睡觉，可是电梯这么慢。。。" Then I dont remember le, something about me throwing my temper. Hahas.

Oh ya, havent say about thur orchestra practice lorr. I mean it's fun cos teacher never come cos she got performance. Then the whole percussion and yang qin were like nth to do. Then l8r I go practiced on my own and after that went to teach the sec 1s. You know what? Alston challenged me and ena to throw the drumsticks at him and we were like at one end of the room. So ena threw and i think she missed. So it was my turn and I threw! I nearly hit him de lorr. Then don noe what happened the thing flew the other direction i think. Huh! Then he challenged to throw at us and ena and I were like "run for your lives luh!" Haha. Fun siia. =P

I wanna go for the concert lehhs, but no one going. Li jun and yu shi not going. Xiao xing xing also not going. How? If no one goes, mom will not let me go. Haix.. Why you guyys not going siia? Haix.. Nevermind lor, maybe I also don't wanna go le. No mood to go anyway, with so many things happening. There's really too many things happening around me. I don't know if I can take it anot. If one day I don't talk and not myself.. then maybe I... ...

2008-12-05T13:12:00.000+08:00

I was alone at home on tue then there's this stupid bee flying in. It disturbed me k? It's big and black in colour and it looks ugly. Lols, then i ignored it and went to change cos going to grandma's house. I was near the balcony when it flew towards me and I SCREAMED. I was shocked siia, I mean doesn't it have eyes to see where it was going? Lols. Okay, then ytd I was alone again in the morning. Was watching tv and it flew in again. What?! Can't it just get away from me? I was rather annoyed cos it kept flying in front of me. Argh!

I went to the kitchen to wash the dishes and then this bee flew in again. I didn't know and when I turned around, it just flew past me. Very near me lorr. Luckily I didn't drop the bowl. Today, woke up at 9.30 am and mom went out early. I changed and was getting ready to leave the hse and this thing came again. Why can't it leave me alone? I left the house immediately, if not I dont know when it will scare me again. Lols. Walked to bus stop to take bus then I slipped. Oh my gosh! Luckily I didn't really fall and no one was around. =P

Going to Tan Tock Seng Hospital l8r cos grandma needs to go there for acupuncture. Haix. After bringing her there to Novena I still need to rush to dhoby ghaut to my tuition centre to pay the tuition fees. I want to go and find Ms Chua lorr. I want her to teach me piano. I want to continue with my piano lessons, but mom said next year. Haix.. =[

Oh, I got to go le. Need to get things ready cos grandma going hospital ma, so got to go now! Au revoir! See ya. =]

2008-12-03T22:05:00.000+08:00

Just had an argument with mom. I mean it wasn't like as if I didn't want to help her. Okay, it goes like this. She wanted me to help her to bring down some things down for her friend and I said "haa?" She then said how could I said that and that she regret to have me as her only child. She said that she would rather have more than to have more, "just in case" the first one doesn't help her.

What this? The reason for my initial reaction is because it's late and I'm having a headache so I did not want to go out. But I did offer my help in the end. And here's what she said " 不用了，我不需要你的帮忙。再说，你也帮不到忙." What? I just said haa because I did not expect that lady to be that late and I DID NOT say that I don't want to help her. Okay, I know that I might be at fault for having that first reaction but.. Argh! Never mind. Don't think anyone of you understands anyway. Feel like talking on the phone tmrw but don't think anyone of you will be free so never mind. I want to talk to my xiao xing xing! But.. but she now in indonesia le. Haix.. How I wish that she'll come back quicky.

I know I sound selfish but I want to talk to her. Really. Now what? My tears are streaming down now. Some times, I really wish that I'm not here. Something's bothering me but I can't say it out. I can't tell at all, maybe only to... I don't know! Haix. =[ I know that my mom's stress and fustrated about her work and her license but she just can't vent it out on me k? I'm a human being and when I'm stress and fustrated and irritated and.. and.. whatever, who do I vent it on?

Argh! 小星星，你赶快回来吧。法兰西出事了，你也不想看到我出事对吧？(出事并不代表自杀。）我现在真的很烦，可是我却不知道我在烦什么啊。嗨。。。我看我今天就说到这好了，没心情继续了。Au revoir. =[

2008-12-03T13:06:00.000+08:00

Nothing extraordinary happened today so nothing special to write. Maybe just write for the sake of writing? Lols . I just wrote this "骑着白马的人不一定是王子，有可能是唐僧。" in msn. I copied from a friend. Hope you don't mind Jinli. >.< Actually I kept changing my pm lorr. Don noe why. I just realised that I did not do any revision at home today lorr. Just went to my grandmother's hse and then slack there.

Watched DVD then eat lunch. After tt, I slept at 2.30 pm i think then you know what? I woke up at 6 pm luh! Okay fine, li jun already called me piggy le. So I think i'm suppose to be one? Haha.. Then just now before dinner just do some chinese lorr. I just realised that my chinese is so lan lorr. I can't even write a simple word, forgot what the word is le. Haix.. Really need to buck up siia, if not next year don need go sit for O' levels le.

Okay, really nothing to write le. At least I did update my blog(with craps?). Mom rushing me to go home now. Au revoir.

2008-12-02T21:37:00.001+08:00

17个你爱/喜欢上他/她的标志”

十七

你经常看他/她的个人主页

十六

当你和他/她打电话打到很晚，他/她挂了电话，你仍然想念他/她，即使电话只挂了2分钟

十五

你一遍又一遍读他/她的短信

十四

你和他/她一起走路的时候，走得很慢很慢

十三

他/她在你周围的时候，你敢到害羞

十一

当你想到他的时候，你的心跳一会跳得快，一会跳得慢

十

你听到他/她的声音的时候会笑

九

当你和他/她在一起的时候，你看不见周围的所有人，你的眼中只有他/她

八

当你想到他/她的时候，你会听抒情的慢歌

七

你想到的全都是他/她

六

你闻到他/她的气味就很兴奋

五

你意识到当你看着他/她的时候，你总是在笑

四

为了见到他/她，你会为他/她做任何事

三

当你读这篇文章的时候，有个人一直在你的脑中浮现

二

你不停的想他/她，以至于你都没有发现这里没有第十二条

一

你翻上去找第十二条，然后默默地笑自己....

许个愿吧，你想....

以“17个你爱/喜欢上他/她的标志”为名转贴
明天就会有好运降临于你，否则...你会后悔...

01.12.08

2008-12-01T13:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterday is a history, Tomorrow is a mystery, but Today is a gift. Heard it ytd when watching DVD. Lols . Went to Mrs Tan hse on sat to have gathering. Was outside her hse for an hour cos she's not at home. Others came at 4 plus and I was totally bored outside. She came to pick me up and brought me in. Walked around her condo and i'm telling you, her condo is much nicer than mine. I mean my ex. place.

Then start bbq and saw everyone. Gosh, they looked totally diff. Especially Michelle, Joey and Charmaine. Couldn't recognised them initially, expecially Charmaine. Until Ong Ting said " Charmaine 来了。" Then I looked at her. She's like a poly student lorr. Pretty siia. All of us then started bbq and e chicken wing is the most diff to get cooked. I mean I was there like hours and still not cooked lorr. Haix.. I no skill is it? Lols, stayed until 8 plus then mom called. She was like" Where in the world are you and why aren't you home yet?!" No choice then, had to leave early.

Went to grandma's place then realised i didn't bring the entrance card & the thing to call my mom to open the door was spoiled. What?! Just nice someone came then open the door for me. Lucky lorr. Okay, now i've got nth to say le. Haix.. miss my camp frenzs. How i wish that the camp last longer, although the place is far but it's fun luh. I dont feel like writing le. My mood got abit not good. Haix.. How i wish to start everything over again. Au revoir

2008-11-27T00:25:00.001+08:00

Okay, really.. It's true. I really wanna cry now. Really.. I don't know why, maybe i know why but don't know how 2 say. I think is everything in my life? I don't know!! Argh. I think my tears rolling down now. I just want to cry..

2008-11-26T23:52:00.000+08:00

Ytd was fun lorr. Kelvin, Aloysius, Klement,Joanne and her bro, Jonathan and me went to Pasir ris park. Went to have fun actually and I really enjoyed it. Thanks Kelvin. Then I met kelvin's friend who has the same chinese name as me. Lols . Both of us were like, huh? Why our names de same? Hahas, they then went to rent bike. Poor Aloy and me. We did not know how to ride so we head back to where we settle. Kelvin then taught me how to fly kite. Okay, so i fly the kite. It was up high de lorr, when Kelvin helped me. But then l8r the kite just dropped down. How sad.

Today orchestra was damn tired. I mean, I woke up at 8 plus to prepare for sch to help Mr Seah with e nyaa. Then he treat us lunch. Wait, it's not for free. We need to work for him for 10 assignments, no way man. Lols . Then rush for co. Okay, i was very sleepy then when Mr Lim called " vibraphone" I kana shocked. I was in my dreamland i think. Ena was funny. She really fell asleep and then Mr Lim called her and she was there sleeping. I called her several times b4 she woke up saying "huh? What thing?" Lols .

I don't feel like writing le. Just had a argument with mom. Not really argument but, I donnoe how to say. She's not being reasonable lorr, i think so lahh. Anyway, it's just a trivial thing and she's just nagging away. Alright, I didn't talk back. I just kept my mouth shut and think that i'm mute. Okay, I know it's bad to say that but.. I'm always the one who's wrong even though i did nothing. Really, she once accused me of smth and then when she realised she made a mistake, she didn't apologise and just take it as if nth has happened. Haix.. Nvm. This is not as hurtful as what she said to me. Don't feel like saying it again, if not l8r i cry. Hahas.

Okay, I really don't feel like writing le. I mean just now she kept.. then i now no mood to write le. Shall continue again. My mood now really very bad. Like today, I got manii things to tell my mom, but I decided not to tell her. Oh, I also havent tell her abt the minor accident tt i had on the bus. So long le, nvm. She will just say " So? Nothing happened so nvm" I can guess it. Haix..

Sometimes, I wonder she really meant those things he said to me. Not the one that I guess, another one. Not sure if you guys know. Maybe it's true. I even wrote it for my chinese compo exam lorr. Okay, I really gtg now. I'll be home alone tmrw until noon. Guess I'll be bored then. Nothing to do at home and it's scary to be alone.

2008-11-24T12:42:00.000+08:00

Back in action again! Lols . Ytd went to cp to meet klement, aloy, joanne tan, jes and ying zhuang. Bought the cake and present for li jun. Wanted to surprise her but I thik she knows it lorr. While making our way to her hse, i realised that we had no lighter, ( happened while we celebrated wiky's bday). Told jes and went to her hse to get one.

Siia lahh, we can't light up the candles lehhs, cos lighter no oil. is it called oil? Then call li jun down and celebrate with her. The cake taste great except for the white chocolate. Too sweet although i love white chocolate. Actually I hate chocolates lorr.

Then, all of us go doodle klement and aloysius's face. Hahas, I go doodle his face then he ran, but ran into a dead end. Lols . You shld have seen his face, funny lo.

After cele, went to rulang pri to support my china frenzs. Walao, damn far lehhs. Waited for them like 1/2 hour. They won a gold and bronze award lehhs. At least their efforts were paid off mahhs.

I dreamt of my shi fu last night. Cos ytd I went to look for him but the gates were not opened. So maybe he knows that so I dreamt of him ba. I want to see him actually, want to know how he's doing now. He shld be alright ba. Pls let him be alright. Haix..

Dont feel like writing le, shall stop here. Au revoir. =]

Stress up!!

2008-11-22T20:01:00.000+08:00

Went to sch ytd for student leader meeting to prepare for sec 1 orientation. Actually I was playing around all the time. I arrived there late because of the bus ( i can't catch the timing of the morning bus, argh!) Mdm Halimah was there scolding, not really scolding but just like you know, her voice is kinda louder. Luckily I was not scolded. Then suddenly she called my name and said " Darunee! Go to 1E3 and be the class i/c for class facilitator for that class" I was shocked siia, thought she wanna scold me for being late.

Then went down play games, fun siia ( I think I still like kid siia). Jeslyn cried. I was taken aback then went to console her. I see her cry I also scared. She seems to be under a lot of stress. I also scared lehhs. I scared I can't maintain the discipline in that class lorr. Haix, know what? I just realised that i'm the only sec 2 C.F for that class. The rest are sec 1s. Means, I've got set a good example. Oh my, not easy job lehhs. I scared the next one who's crying is me lorr.

Got a lot of programmes coming up. Not sure if mom allows me to attend anot. Oh ya, Kelvin havent sms me the time yet, how to meet him? LOLS. One week has just passed. Although fast, I think that I learnt many things within this week. Hahas. I'm still thinking whether to go for the gathering with chen hao on mon. I scared my mom scold. Haix.. Shall see first ba horr. Maybe tmrw then tell him.

Nothing to say le. Unless smth extraordinary happens. LOLS. Au revoir. =D

2008-11-20T23:07:00.000+08:00

Hey, I wanna tell you that it's impossible for us to be together de. I mean I told you since primary sch le, so I cant understand abt asking me out. Sorry.. I'm really sorry..

Today orchestra learn chan ge. Quite nice the song and I managed to learn it. Hahas, initially was difficult. But slowly, I learnt how to play the vibraphone le. Yeah! First day after camp ended. I'm still feeling sad. Cos like the fun is all gone and emptiness( is there this word) filled my heart. Haix.. But I still kept in touch with some of them. Really enjoyed myself lorr.

My mom asked whether want go back my Thailand anot, the place where my father is in. I did not know what to say cos.. Those who knows me will know why de. I just kept quiet, but I think I'm not going. I mean, there's no point of me going back. Eight years is not short. It'll be longer.

Tomorrow Agus going back indo and he told me to write that I'm happy he's going back. And I wrote now. So no one will nag at me le. Haha.. jk..=]

Honestly, I have nothing to say le. I now chatting with someone so don feel like writing more le. Hahas. Mybe bext time.

Au revoir.

2008-11-19T21:48:00.000+08:00

Today was the last day of camp. I couldn't bear to leave, it's fun there. I think that it's a pity that Clarice could not make it. I don't want to leave, I wanna stay there. Made many new friends there and it's really fun. Smth ridiculous. Li jun and I went to the camp on the second day and we lost our way. We alighted the bus too early and it's abt 8 smth back then. We searched the whole area also cant find the place lorr. We walked until 11.30 then we gave up le. Walked for about 3 hours siia.

Someone told me smth today and I was actually shocked, but not totally cos I think I know it beforehand le. I also don noe how I know but i just noe. Li jun also know but I believe she wont tell de. We learnt how to conduct today. I really wanna go up and conduct de, but then I'm scared so I cast aside that thought. Now regret le. Haix.. Don be like me my juniors.

I like no mood to write lehhs. Got alot of things to say de, but suddenly like no more.Haix.. nvm, tmrw then I continue if I have the time to and whether I can anot. Tmrw gonna be a long day again. Got to go now. Sleep tight everyone! Hahas.. Au revoir. =D

2008-11-16T18:26:00.000+08:00

Hellos! Sch holiday now, so happy.. Can rest at home and no homework to do!!! But mon, tue and wed got camp, haix.. must go until upper bukit timah there so far siia.. Sorry that i neglected my blog for donno how mani hundreds and thousands day. I was too lazy to write anithing.

I just had a talk with someone, that person was very unhappy with me. I knew that that person was unhappy with me, so I asked that person why unhappy. Then that person said that i like to act. Oh, I was hurt actually when that person scolded me and said that i sux totally. But as we go on with our conversation, that person told me more things. I 'm not sure whether that person still hates me anot, but whatever the answer is, I'll nv hate that person. I don't want to have that feeling again, cos it's terrible. I don wanna let my emotions control me cos when u hate someone, u'll get angry when u see that person. So i told that person that i wont hate that person and I will treat that person as my friend. Today will, in the future i will too. I did not use he or she becos I did not want to expose that person's identity. That person said that that person will not feel angry when see me again.

I was actually wondering, am I someone who likes to act or is it that person's point of view? I really wanna know the ans. I mean, am i really that bad? Nvm, sometimes things are better when u dont know them. Same goes to my past. The very past. Hahas, some might noe what i'm saying, some might not. Aniwae, i just listened to the graduation song. I am curious to know what will happen to me when i graduate from this sch? Will anyone hate me or will I have a peaceful path after that? No one knows the future exactly, but whatever it is, I will still have to go overcome it.

I got to go now. To make sense out of what that person told me. Aniwae, wish that person good luck and hope that person wont hate or angry with me anymore. That person will not know that i wish for that person cos that person do not know that i have a blog and none of you guyys knows who that person is. If u noe, come and tell me in sch? But u'll nv noe. So that person, I kept my promise isn't it? I did not tell anyone at all. =D

selamat hari raya..

2008-10-01T14:27:00.000+08:00

I'm back! Hiya, okay i know that this blog is dead since 20 sept, but that's not what I wanted. I had too mani things 2 do that i dont even have the time to use e com. Plus, korr everyday use, then if i use the com will become very hot de. Then I dont have com use le. Aniwaes, I had my lit exam on mon. The night before, kor and I were studying until like siao lorr. Not really siao lahhs, but jus like keep reading and reading. We dont know what mrs lawrence will test what, so just read lorr.

Then what? The paper was actually what she went through in class, not all ques, but some. Well, so i think i might pass but not sure whether i'll be able to gt A anot. I wanna take lit next year, so i must get A. If not i'll be left with geog and history. History's not a bad choice but it requires memorising which i dont want. Geog also, i tell you i can fail my geog de lorr. I dont know how to study for geog so how? I'm not interested in geog aniwae but i must at least pass. If not my result book wont be nice le. Understand? Nvm, i doubt u dont.

Exams are coming le and i'm still in lalaland. I'm not worried lorrs, die liao lahh. If like this, then i wont go stdy de, then i'll flunk! Oh my, i can't flunk! I dont want to. But everyday i reach home i'll watch tv de lehhs. Hiax, i cannot be like korr de lorr, come home bathe then go study. He everyday ask me study de, but then i lyk nv listen to him. How? I want to take pure science next year and also Amaths. But the results that i have now, haix... I don't wan to take D&T and art.Haix..

What if I don't make it? What if I fail? What if I can't get the subjects that I want? What if.. There's too many what if. Someone save me! I really don't know.

Oh ya, recently Ms Tao told us abt the SYCO (Singapore Youth Chinese Orchestra) thingy. I want to give it a try but i can't do sight reading. I can't play the xylophone using sight reading. Then it's like twice a week from 7 to 9.30 pm. Korr say maybe can try but he said that it's at night so might not be a very good thing but i want to try. Plus there are so many students participating so i confirm wont go in de mahs. So nvm, can try. Then mommy said must think again. I dont know lehhs.. Go or don't do? Must go audition first ma. I wont pass the audition de. So go or don't go? Lols..

I don't feel like talking le. Very tired, still got alot of sch hw haven't do yet. I now want go do homework then study lerrs. Korr just called and say his coming home. L8r he confirm want use com de lorrs, so I now shut down then l8r he use the com wont hot hot ma. Oh ya, hope that all of you can pass your exams with flying colour, INCLUDING me.. Hahas.. Au revoir =D